#how loving and considerate; every moment of this show is a love letter to people nobody can afford to love these days

[psalmsofpsychosis]

I'm just— i geniunely dont know what to say about Doom Patrol (2019). in less than 10 episodes this show has saved me in ways i can't even begin to put into words, like. On a narrative level this show is— revolutionary doesn't even begin to cover it, it's a fucking bone breaking experience and so, so real. Like i know that people love to refer to Doom Patrol as THEE found family show, but it's so so so much more, i geniunely cannot bring myself to file it under a single genre or trope, it'd feel so inadequate. Doom Patrol is a story about what it means to be human. There's not a single able bodied person in sight, it's got the most disgusting, awe inspiring, lovable characters, and each story is treated with so much intelligence and compassion and intricacy and kindness that it makes you cry. I literally cry my ass off at every fucking episode, this dc superhero show is a manifesto for the broken postmodern human, it could meet Nietzsche in the pit and break him in half. I'm positively going to die when i finish Doom Patrol, every single character in this bastard of a show has became my fucking lifeline, but also i dont think i'll ever finish it, it's like saying "yeah i finished reading the buddhism principles", this shit will take a lifetime to live by.

[moooncats]

✿ PAC : Love Letter From Your Future Spouse ✿

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✿ Pile 1 ✿

Hello beautiful, did you miss me? I know that everything has been so hectic but I swear you are such a fighter. I love the way you have this no tolerance go getter attitude. You are truly my muse. You transform the most mundane things and make them into gold flecks that flutter into the air and it's just awe inspiring. I have searched all over the world, met many inspiring people in my life and none of them compare to you- you captivated me, lured me into your beautiful unique aura and I can never forget that moment. I knew then, that you had to be mine. I thank the heavens everyday because you are the person I get to wake up next to- what a blessing! I must have done a lot of good in my past life to meet you. It truly is a gift being in your presence! We mesh together perfectly, your hand in mine, our bodies intertwined. I can't believe that manifesting someone as yourself actually worked. Our vibrations match perfectly as we are in tuned with each other. Like a root deep underground, it's vast and everlasting. That is our love, we will grow stronger together and I am missing every second, minute, hour that I am away from you my love. I can't wait to make it back to you so we can start our forever life together, and we can do it all over again in another lifetime. Please wait for me goregous, I love you with all my hearts. Sending my love to you from every universe. I know you can feel its warmth. ♡ Yours truly. ♡

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✿ Pile 2 ✿

Hello goregous soulmate. I can't believe that it's that time of year again. I know you love letters from me and I've made you so many already but just know that every letter I write are my true authentic feelings. There is so much going on in my head everyday and most of it is because of you my goregous soulmate. You have encapsuled my love and intertwined it with your beautiful soul. I am forever grateful of your presence every day. You changed me so much and for the better. Before I was aimless in life, no drive, aspirations, no hope... then you came along. With your sunshine aura and I couldn't get enough of it. You are the light that guides my wandering soul out of the abyss. You are my forever muse. I can't wait to grow old with you and start that family we've always talked about, until then I have only my words to keep you going through these times. My will and determination to get us everything we deserve and need in life. You will never have to ask for more, anything you want you will have it my love. I love you so much goregous please don't ever change. ♡ Yours Truly. ♡

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✿ Pile 3 ✿

You're not mad at me are you? I know I've done a lot of things in this life that have made me feel regrettable, but this- this is the one that tops it all. I am human... we all make mistakes. Please don't fester any bad feelings for me my delicate little flower. You know I had you in mind the whole time and I thought it would be best for the both of us. Everything I ever do, my thoughts, my actions, my feelings; I always take you into consideration. You are my everything, my delicate flower that I must protect. I will do ANYTHING for you baby. You don't know how much you mean to me, the day we met was the best day of my life. I will never forget locking eyes with you for the first time. My heart instantly went into hyper drive, it just wouldn't stop. I knew then that you were the one. The way you move gracefully through the shit show that is life is just mesmerizing. Life has taken so much from you... from us. We are 2 souls who were once lost but when we get together, we become 2 partners intertwined and formed into 1 power couple. I know you know this my love, words can't express how much I feel about you. You are my muse, my world, my will to live. I won't lose you this time, not again. ♡ Yours Truly. ♡

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[ollie-lolly]

Hiya, Ollie! Hope you're doing good whenever ya read this. And if you're not, I have a fluffy request for you:

For the Brothers and dateables, where would they take someone for their first date, what would they do, and how would the day/night end?

Sending you hugs and cuddles, friend! Have a great day/night! ♡

Authors note: Hi I know you’ve requested this in September and I haven’t been writing in FOREVER, but I’m so happy I am finally feeling up for it again! Enjoy!! I’ll just start with the brothers first, if people still think I write decently after all these months I’ll write the letter rest! Also 700+ followers WOW I love y’all.

Lucifer💙

He likes his everything dates very organised. He plans everything out to a tea, he knows he will win you over, but it takes time if he wants you to love him exactly in the way he already fell for you. I think he would take you to a museum, then to a restaurant he somehow knew you wanted to try the food from. Making a reservation to guarantee the best table. He will subtly compliment you throughout the whole day. As a subtle way to tell you he is having a great time. At the end he will walk you to your room and bid you goodnight. His lips touching your knuckles as he kissed your hand. He is the eldest brother, but that doesn’t hold him back from thinking about you all night after the date ended. 

Mammon💛

He will NEVER admit he was nervous even asking you out, but you knew. He likes to be flexible on his dates. Really going with the flow while subtly showing off how much he likes you. I’m mostly thinking of him taking you out to go shopping together, while he secretly takes pictures for the things you find ‘to expensive’ so he could buy you them later when he will make sure his debt declines. Then if you’re that kinda person going dancing together! Either way I think you two will both end up a little tipsy at the end, Mammon accidentally giving you a kiss on the cheek as he drops you off. Remembering when he finally fully sobered up in the dead of night. He would text you about it the next morning, preying you didn’t mind and maybe would want him to give one on the lips next time.

Leviathan🧡

I’d like to think he asked to hangout in his room and if you ask if it is a date, he would throw his phone the moment he replied with: “If you’d be okay with it!”. Safe to say he is scared shitless at just the thought. He preys Asmo will help him with the fact he is sweating buckets. It will most likely be a date in his room, watching a movie or playing a video game with him you expressed interest in. He can’t even enjoy the movie or video game most of the time, because he is constantly worrying if you’re enjoying yourself or not. I think he could finally calm down the moment he would see you smile while eating the take-out you and him ordered. If you ever suggest feeding him some of your food he will be flustered and nod. Avoiding eye contact as you feed him. When the date ends he tries not to be sad you’re leaving already.

Satan💚

He finds your comfort the most important thing at all times. He is extremely considerate, who said chivalry is dead? Because then he would be dead. He is still a little nervous, but that’s because you’re so attractive to him. The date will most likely be to a book store where the two of you would pick a book for each other to read. I think then he would take you to a cat cafe. Him paying all of it with a smile. Just don’t give the cats all your attention, because he wil get a little jealous. I think he would ask to hold your hand on the later part of the date, giving you his jacket as you two walk beside a river on the way home.

Asmodeus🩷

He is over the moon. He will must look his best because he wants you to be entranced by him every second that he is with you. From the outfit, the perfume, the make up and the hair. Everything is top notch. When he sees you, in his mind you couldn’t look better. It doesn’t matter if you choose something more simple to wear and he definitely lets you know how he feels. Our sweet Asmo is most likely taking you to shop together then a self care spa at the end. He is quite touchy the whole time if you don’t mind that of course. Holding onto your arm, complimenting you, he might as well yell to the whole world he is madly in love with you. He might take you to his room by the end if you’re comfortable with it.

Beelzebub❤️

He wil be smiling throughout it all. When you would meet up at the spot he would have his usual blank face, the moment he would see you his sweet smile would appear. His bouquet of sunflowers in his slightly happy and nervous shaking hands as he gave it to you. I think you and him would do a workout class or go to a sports game together. He really pays attention to the things you like and talk about as you two talk in between breaks. Taking you to eat your favourite foods at the end and sharing desserts.

Belphegor💜

This sneaky little cow is most likely showing you the stars constellations in the planetarium on your first date. Little picknick blanket laid out as he would explain all your questions about the stars. Having lavender and chamomile tea and biscuits beside the two of you. The conversation eventually deepening to the thoughts in your heads to the memories the both of you have collected over the years. Belphie eventually placing his beloved cow pillow under your heads as the sleepiness slowly overpowers any nerves you might have had. Holding your hand as the two of you drift to sleep under the starry night above.

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Awkward hugs compilation

M. Dusaulx: It isn’t envy that rises to this tribune, it is gratitude. I am very attached to M. Petion: he is my fellow patriot. Without ever having spoken to him, I believe I am his interpreter on this tribune. No premature praise: love is the reward of living men, statues and crowns the price of the dead. I regard M. Petion as my son; it is very bold, no doubt! He steps down from the tribune, and M. Petion throws himself into his arms. This triumph of sentiment made all hearts feel the sweetest sensation. Session at the Jacobins November 19 1791

M. Dusaulx: All the patriots of this club have long been suspended in the course of a discussion which seemed to compromise two good patriots who must love and esteem each other; something would be missing after what M. Brissot said before leaving this assembly, it is the duty of these two generous men to embrace each other. No sooner had he finished than MM. Robespierre and Brissot were in each other's arms, amid the unanimous applause of the Society, moved by this touching spectacle. M. Robespierre: By yielding to M. Dusaulx's invitation, I only gave myself up to the impulse of my heart, I gave what I owed to the confession and to the fraternity and to the feeling depth that I have of a man who enjoys the greatest consideration and who must render the greatest services to the fatherland; I will prove to M. Brissot how much I am attached to him. This should in no way change the opinion that every man should have of the public good; it is to do all that will be in me, and what I believe necessary for the public safety, that I will ask to answer in another session to the speech of M. Brissot. Brissot and Robespierre at the Jacobins, January 20 1792

M. Dumouriez rushes into M. Robespierre's arms. The Society and the tribunes, regarding these embraces as a presage of the agreement of the ministry with the love of the people, accompany this spectacle with the liveliest applause. The Jacobin Club, March 19 1792

A few days later Danton came to find me. He showed me a letter that Marat wrote to him; this letter was very insolent; reproaches were mixed with insults; he threatened Danton. Danton seemed angry to me; Marat was on the surveillance committee, we went down there together. The debate was very lively; Danton treated Marat harshly; Marat maintained what he had put forward, ended up saying that it was necessary to forget everything, tore up the letter, embraced Danton, and Danton embraced him back. I attest to these facts which played out before me. Discours de Jérôme Pétion sur l’accusation intentée contre Maximilien Robespierre (November 5 1792)

Dumouriez enters the hall together with Santerre; the general embraces Robespierre, everyone applauds. The Jacobin Club, October 14 1792

Rousillon: I was accused of partiality, because I did not want to call into question whether Legendre would be expelled; Momero was said to be an aristocrat; I was forced to embrace Jacques Roux, but never did a kiss seem so bitter to me. The Jacobin Club, June 28 1793

The reconciliation, however, appeared to be complete; the two embraced: Danton put frankness in it; he was touched; we were all moved: well! How could you not? We only think, we only see the patrie, liberty, the republic; Only Robespierre remained cold like marble!.... Principaux évènemens, pour et contre la Révolution, dont les détails ont été ignorés jusqu’à présent: et prédiction de Danton au Tribunal révolutionnaire, accomplie (1794) by Jean-Lambert Tallien and Jean-Louis-Marie Villain d’Aubigny, page 49-50.

Goupilleau de Fontenay: I challenge David to declare if, at the moment when Robespierre descended from the tribune of the Jacobins, after having delivered his speech, or rather his indictment, he, David, did not go and embrace him saying: "If you drink hemlock, I shall drink it with you."  David: It was not to come and greet Robespierre that I went down to his side; it was to go up to the tribune and ask that the feast of the 10th should take place. I didn't embrace Robespierre, I didn't even touch him, because he repelled everyone.  The Jacobin Club, July 31 1794

On exiting the hall, Tallien doubled his pace, grabbed hold of Fréron, pressed him into his arms and embraced him. This unexpected scene caused great disorder within the club. On one side, people applauded, saying: ”Look! Look! They don’t care!” On the other, one cried: ”This is how the conspirators get along!” Jacobin Club, September 3 1794, just after both Tallien and Fréron had been struck from the club’s list of members.

Chatillon-Sur-Marne, which I am only mentioning here because Joly, its priest, a former college comrade of Robespierre, got it into his head to come and say hello to him at the time of the terror. Robespierre drew back when he tried to embrace him; and whenever, while talking, the priest of Chatillon-sur-Marne approached the tyrant, the latter huddled in a corner, still afraid of being assassinated. Dictionnaire néologique des hommes et des choses… (1799) by Beffroy de Reigny, volume 3, page 223

The next day Saint-Just came to my room: I was occupied with my mail and I begged him to let me finish a letter. While I was writing he saw my rifle, seized it and amused himself by examining the battery: it was unfortunately loaded, the shot went off, the bullet passed close to me and went to pierce my coat rack which was on a chair, five or six steps away. I got up immediately, the gun had fallen from the hands of Saint-Just, he turned pale, staggered and threw himself into my arms. He then said to me in a deepened tone: “Ah! Levasseur, if I had killed you? - You would have played me a nasty trick; if I must die from a gunshot, let it at least come from an enemy’s hand. Hearing the report, several officers who were near my door rushed into my room and found Saint-Just, pale as death, in my arms. Mémoires de R. Levasseur (de la Sarthe) ex-conventionnel, ornés du portrait de l’auteur (1829), volume 2, page 242

The session became so stormy that Collot used acts of violence against Robespierre. He threw himself at him and seized him by the flanks. He was about to throw Robespierre through the window when the latter's friends rescued him. Robespierre then declared that he was leaving the committee, that he could not honorably sit with executioners, that he would report this to the Convention. One saw the danger of publicizing this scene, blamed Collot's patriotic anger, and begged Robespierre, after having torn up the disastrous list, not to give the enemies of the Republic new means of attacking it. Robespierre seemed to calm down, but when Collot approached him to embrace him he refused and despite being urged not to he left. Mémoires de Barras, membre du Directoire, page 349-350

[leggerefiore]

Salutations Fi! I saw you ask about Valentine’s Day requests and I was wondering if I might be able to give a suggestion. What if Ingo’s beloved on Valentines Day we’re to romance him when he can’t get the day off by showing him in old fashion romance. Flowers delivered using the language of flowers to express their love and devotion to him, his favorite sweets left on his desk to be found, and sending him long love letter message on his phone throughout the day, until he is able to come home to a candle light dinner and a night of lovemaking where he is showered is words of adoration. Ingo is always so giving, he deserves to to wooed like a Victorian lover every once in a while too 🥰 thank you so much for all your hard work, you time, and consideration on this Fi! 

I'm happy I still have people enjoying my work! I know my stuff has changed a bit since I started, but I'm happy people are still reading my writings.

Love's Holiday

cw: fluff, valentine's Day fic

Ingo hated the expression that crossed your face when he had to inform you that he had been unable to take Valentine's Day off this year. So much more than anything, would he had preferred to, but it seemed to just not to come to fruition with how everything at work built together. You did not say that you were upset, but the disappointment was apparent with how your shoulders drooped and lips fell. Just before he could begin to lament endless apologies about his shortcoming, you embraced him softly and told him that it was alright. This was not the first holiday that had seen him called into work, and it was unlikely to be the last.

The twin still wished it had not needed to be this way yet was endlessly grateful that you understood that he adored his job. You cupped his face and asked when his next day off was. He supposed a rain-check on the romantic day would not matter, so long as you both experienced at least.

~

The day was admittedly test him when it finally came. Many Depot Agents thankfully did not have too many complaints about having to work the holiday, most younger and not in relationships, but it did not mean there were not a few that hated it. One would not stop lamenting about how his Kalosian girlfriend was going to end him for failing to spend the day with her, while another whined that his boyfriend was going to be mad about it. Ingo stiffly told them that his partner was unhappy, too, and that was simply how it was today. He did politely offer them advice on how to amend their lovers' unhappiness and to plan to celebrate on another date, to which they just cruelly called him 'mom'. Again.

How he wished Emmet had not started a bunch of them onto that by teasing him with that when he was fussing about a ketchup stain on the younger twin's face.

He had begun his check-list duties, going through the station in order to make sure everything was up to code and that his employees were acting as they were supposed to. When he was passing through the middle of the station, he could only sigh when a lost delivery man clearly entered. A large bouquet of flowers in his hands. The man's eyes went large when they landed on Ingo. “Ah! You are Subway Boss Ingo, no?” he called out with a strong voice, “You have delivery from your 'dearest'.” The twin froze for a moment, an odd warmth flooding his chest.

“Yes, that is me,��� Ingo replied in his usual station voice, “Thank you for the off-path delivery.” The man only returned his words with a big grin and handing off the flowers. It was clear as day that someone held the Subway Boss in high regard. Commuters in the station stopped to stare at the odd sight of him with a bouquet of flowers. Ingo could only lower his eyes and stiffen his posture. He headed to his office to lay the flowers somewhere they would go unbothered.

Holding the bouquet in his sights, he observed the flowers chosen closely. White camellias, red chrysanthemums, a single black iris, and baby's breath all compromised the bouquet. He felt a small smile fall across his lips. It may not have been a common bouquet of roses, but the meaning of it all was not lost on him. The flowers were gently laid across his desk. It still stung that he has unable to spend the day with you, but this certainly lessened the blow.

He just hoped Emmet would not tease him too much for this. One more glance to the flowers left him at ease.

~

His checking work went over with little concern but led into his battles for the day. He found himself going against couples on the Multi Line with Emmet, and upset singles on the Single Line. They were wonderful challenges, but he simply felt distracted by the way the couples worked together in such sync. Naturally, he had that in a different with Emmet, but not in that form with you. His heart raced as he waited for the next challenger. Even Emmet commented on how distracted he seemed to be.

Ingo did feel bad about throwing battles on accident, but his mind could not refocus on anything. Just as he was about to let out another sigh, his phone went off. He took it out after some thoughtful debate. It was a text message from you. Air felt caught in his throat. Clicking open the app, his racing thoughts came to an end.

“Hey, hubby, I hope your day is going alright! I know how upset you were with having to leave me today, but I hope my flowers made you smile! I sneaked another surprise in for you, too. Win me some battles, okay? I love you so, so much! See you this evening. PS. I resisted going with a romantic Chandelure light dinner. I don't think she would have enjoyed that.”

His heart raced in his chest as pink dusted his cheeks. He held the phone tightly to his chest and felt at an emotional loss. How had he found someone this wonderful? Nothing about you felt real to him sometimes. His past struggles with love faded after he met you.

Another challenger entered his car. The poor guy was unprepared for just how much effort Ingo put into that battle. You asked for a victory, so he would give it to you. Chandelure's battle shriek left the challenger dumbstruck as his team fell with ease.

~

His lunch came, and he finally found himself back in the office. The flowers were moved to another location temporarily as he decided to begin some paperwork as he ate. As the bouquet was lifted, a heart tin became visible. He knew that was certainly not there earlier. Your text has mentioned another surprise, making him smile once more.

While he was not the biggest fan of sweets, especially when put in competition with his brother, he knew you got him the dark chocolate ones he so adored. Daring to pop it open, he took one of the small truffles out. The flavour bloomed against his tongue wonderfully. He could only wonder what he should do to repay you for all of these things you had done for him. A few more chocolates were enjoyed with his lunch as he felt prepared to finish the rest of the workday.

~

When Ingo got off the end of it all, he felt himself rushing through his closing duties. It was to the point he could feel the looks from his brother and the Depot Agents. This display led to Emmet dismissing him before he made a mess of things trying to get off sooner. He thanked his twin endlessly, but Emmet just shrugged it off and told him to enjoy his evening with you. Ingo grabbed his bouquet and chocolates with speed comparable to a bullet train as he rushed to leave.

Each step that brought him closer to you felt like an eternity as he rushed away from the station to his apartment building. Of course, he had made a quick stop to retrieve some chocolates and a card for you. Of course, due to the time very few remained to his disappointment. Hopefully, you could forgive him. By the time he made it to your shared home, a light sheen of sweat covered him from the speed at which he moved and the stress of finally getting away to see you.

The door opened for him before he could grab the knob, and you smiled at him sweetly. The room behind you was solely lit by candlelight. His eyes focused on you, who wore a tight-fitting black outfit that left him a bit hypnotised. He held out the chocolates and card almost instinctually. A laugh came from you as you took them and held the door open for him. Ingo could smell the food you had made and flustered when his stomach growled. He had taken a lighter lunch since his focus had been on paperwork, too.

You seemingly danced around him, getting him into a seat and taking the flowers and his chocolate from him. The bouquet was added to a vase in the centre of the table, while the chocolates joined yours on the counter in the kitchen. You sat down across from him and looked at him with pure adoration. Just as he brought a piece of the lovingly cooked meal to his mouth, you spoke.

“I hope you're prepared for a long night, Ingo,” you cooed.

He nearly choked on his food.

His night was quiet long.

And enjoyable.

Emmet's laughter about his hickies the next day left him as red as the chrysanthemums you had given him.

[gtagiftbasket]

Birthday Gifts for Your Family, Friends & Your Lover

Introduction

Birthdays are more than just a date on the calendar; they're moments to celebrate the people we cherish. Choosing the right gift can turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary memory. In this comprehensive guide, we'll explore many ideas for Birthday Gifts for your family, friends & lovers, ensuring your presents reflect the joy and love you share.

Birthday Gifts for your family, friends & your lover - A Personal Touch

Gift-giving is an art, and the canvas is your relationship with the recipient. Whether it's a family member, a close friend, or your significant other, tailoring the gift to their personality and interests shows thoughtfulness. Explore personalized items like custom-made jewelry, engraved keepsakes, or a photo album capturing shared memories.

The Art of Thoughtful Giving

Dive into the world of meaningful gifts that go beyond material possessions. Consider gifting experiences, like a spa day, a cooking class, or tickets to a favorite concert. These create lasting memories and show you value shared moments over material things.

Surprise Them with Unexpected Delights

Birthdays are perfect for unexpected delights. Explore unique and quirky gifts that showcase your knowledge of their hobbies or passions. From personalized art pieces to unusual gadgets, these surprises add an element of fun to the celebration.

Trending Gift Ideas - Keeping it Fresh

Stay up-to-date with the latest trends in gifting. Explore tech gadgets, wellness subscriptions, or eco-friendly products that align with the recipient's lifestyle. Keeping it fresh and modern ensures your gift stands out and remains relevant.

Budget-Friendly Bliss

Gifts need not break the bank to be meaningful. Discover budget-friendly options that convey thoughtfulness without straining your wallet. Handmade crafts, DIY projects, or a heartfelt letter can often be more cherished than expensive presents.

Inclusive Celebrations - Gifts for Every Age

Navigating diverse age groups requires versatile gift ideas. From playful toys for the little ones to sophisticated gadgets for adults, ensure your presents cater to the recipient's stage in life. Inclusivity in gifting makes every celebration special.

Crafting the Perfect Surprise for Your Lover

When it comes to your significant other, the stakes are high. Delve into romantic gestures, from weekend getaways to custom-made gifts that express your love. Tailor the surprise to their preferences, creating a celebration that speaks volumes.

FAQs

What are some timeless birthday gift ideas?

Timeless gifts include personalized jewelry, classic books, and vintage items. These transcend trends, offering lasting joy.

How can I make a budget-friendly gift special?

Add a personal touch, like a handwritten note or a homemade treat. It's the thought that counts, not the price tag.

Any suggestions for last-minute gifts?

Consider e-gift cards, subscription services, or digital downloads for quick and thoughtful options.

What makes an excellent birthday surprise for a close friend?

Tailor the gift to their interests; it shows you know them well. Consider concert tickets, a book by their favorite author, or a themed gift basket.

Are DIY gifts appreciated?

Absolutely! Handmade gifts showcase effort and thoughtfulness, making them special and memorable.

How do I choose a romantic birthday gift for my partner?

Consider their interests, plan a surprise date, or opt for personalized gifts like a custom piece of art or jewelry.

Conclusion

Choosing the perfect Birthday Gifts for your family, friends & your lover involves a blend of thoughtfulness, creativity, and a deep understanding of the recipient. Whether it's a small token of appreciation or a grand gesture of love, the essence lies in the sentiment behind the gift. Make every celebration a cherished memory by investing time and consideration into the art of giving.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

I Adore You - Princess Set (His POV)

"How does he feel when he looks at you?"

RANMARU

One afternoon, Ranmaru saw Mai back in town.

(Is she returning from a delivery? She looks like she's talking to the kids.)

Thanks to his well-trained hearing as a ninja, he was able to hear the details just by closing the distance a little.

She was apparently lecturing the kids for teasing the helpless boy.

(It's an obvious but sometimes unfortunate fact, even for adults, that we shouldn't make fun of people or oppress the weak.)

(I would normally think that this principle can be said to a kid, but―)

(Lady Mai would probably say the same thing no matter who she was dealing with because that's the kind of person she is.)

When Ranmaru returned to Azuchi, the situation in the castle was rather stormy, but Mai always treated him calmly and considerately.

(It's convenient for me, a spy, that Nobunaga's favorite is protecting me.)

(But I can't help but feel bitter.)

(I can't help but be dazzled by her strength and righteousness.)

At that moment, Mai, leaving the kids, turned to look at him.

She waved at him with a carefree smile, making Ranmaru's heart clench.

(If I were in a position to stay by her side without any worries, I wonder what I would think of that.)

Ranmaru tucked his unanswerable question deep into the back of his mind and walked toward Mai with a smile.

MITSUHIDE

When the rays of the setting sun were turning the sky an azure color―

Mitsuhide returned from an inspection tour after moving his schedule up.

(I didn't even have time to send a letter because of the urgency of the situation. I wonder what Mai would look like when she sees me.)

(However, it's that girl. I'm sure she'll be happy to see me, even if she's surprised.)

Mitsuhide intentionally crept into their room.

When he peeked inside, he found Mai at her writing desk, writing something on a piece of paper.

And although he couldn't read it, Mitsuhide had a rough idea of what it was.

(I believe the letter is addressed to me, most likely words of encouragement on my inspection tour.)

(And a confession of love.)

Mitsuhide chuckled as he saw Mai glide her brush across the page, her cheeks blushing.

(You really are a stubbornly honest person. Even when you're alone, your thoughts all show on your face.)

Reading Mai's thoughts is no small feat for Mitsuhide, who is adept at reading the expressions on other people's faces.

Especially if Mai was in a defenseless state, unaware that Mitsuhide was watching her.

(Although I worry about you occasionally because you can't lie too much.)

(I'm even more amazed at my fondness for you since I find your inability to lie and every move adorable.)

Mitsuhide chuckled softly and opened the door with a soft smile playing on his lips.

SHINGEN

One sunny afternoon with a pleasant breeze―

Shingen looked over the stack of letters and stopped writing.

Shingen: "Alright. Looks like I'll be done by the end of the day."

(At this rate, we'll be able to relax at night.)

(I haven't been able to spend much time with her these past few days because I've been busy with my official duties.)

He lightly rubbed his shoulders and tried to bring his attention back to the letter again, but―

Shingen: "Hm?"

(This sound―Mai?)

From outside the room can be heard the familiar sound of light footsteps and a lovely voice.

Curious about what she was saying, he leaned close to the door.

Mai's voice: "The tea is a bit strong, but I hope it will be okay."

Mai's voice: "I also have his favorite dango… Yep! Everything's ready."

(Ready? What is she trying to do?)

Hearing Mai carefully checking something made him tilt his head inwardly.

Mai: "Hey, Shingen. I have tea and dango for the both of us! Why don't you take a break with me?"

(I'm surprised.)

(If she could scheme so passionately, I'd gladly fall for it.)

He was overwhelmed with love and the urge to touch her, knowing she plotted to spend even a short time with him.

Before she could take a step forward, Shingen opened the door.

❣ Next Chapter

[gwynrielweeksofficial]

𝓐 𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓸 𝓖𝔀𝔂𝓷𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓵𝓼

Dear Gwynriels, 

As Gwynriel Week officially comes to a close, I wanted to write a mini thank you letter to all of you guys. 

I had the idea of doing a Gwynriel Appreciation Week back in November and on December 11 I made a post asking users on Tumblr if they would be open to the idea. Needless to say, the answer was a resounding and enthusiastic yes.

From that moment on I started making accounts, writing prompts, and planning many different things for this week, but even with how much I posted about it, I never imagined it would been as big as it was. In one week alone we’ve received about 68 fanarts and about 100 posts across all the platforms (Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter) and I am eternally grateful to every single person who contributed. To Gwynriel’s who were not able to participate, I thank you for your support of all the content creators and leaving likes, reblogs, retweets, and comments, showing your love for Gwyn and Az too.

I’m still relatively new to being active in this fandom and I wanted to do this week because I didn’t participate in the previous one that happened back in August last year. I wanted to share my love and absolute adoration of these two again and nothing fills me with more pride than to see the entire community come together for no reason other than love we have for this couple. It wasn’t to be petty or to one up another ship, it was because we loved Gwynriel, simple as that. 

I know that this week hasn’t been the easiest experience for some of us as there was a considerable amount of hate being thrown at us merely for appreciating what we love. I ask and encourage you all to see the behavior that was thrown at us this week and not do it to others. We know what it’s like for people to throw rude and disrespectful comments at us, for users to shame us for shipping what we want, etc. and it’s not a nice feeling at all. So please, when another ship has an appreciation event for the couple they enjoy do not, I repeat, do not send them hate or make fun of them, regardless of if they did it to us. It is not nice, and it is not right.

Gwynriel Week 2022 has been an incredibly memorable experience for me, and I could not be prouder of our community for coming together. Waking up to see new stories, headcanons, incorrect quotes, fanart, edits, etc. always made my day, but seeing how much you all enjoyed it too made me even happier. There will be an official Gwynriel Week Mega Masterlist that has a link to (hopefully) every single post that was made across all platforms and I aim to get it out by the end of this week. I am honored to have hosted this week and I hope I get to do it again sometime in the future. Thank you all for being nothing but a joy to interact with this past week. 

If it isn’t clear already, I love this fandom so much. You guys are all so incredibly supportive and kind, and while there are users who say disrespectful and harmful things, there are so many more good Gwynriels than bad and this week proved that (please call out toxic behavior when you see it though).

With all that being said, thank you for welcoming me with open arms into this fandom and for being the most amazing people ever. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this community more alive, and it truly was a blessing to witness. 

My dearest Gwynriel friends, from the bottom of my heart to the top of it, I love you💜

Sincerely, 

Sue

[emeraldenha]

TRUST FUND BABY

pairing: ex!taehyun x gn!reader | genre: the five stages of grief (bargaining), breakup au, lovers to exes, angst | w/c: +780 words | warnings: none <3

click here to check out the Thursday’s Child series masterlist!

When you told Taehyun that it might be best to part ways, he didn’t quite understand.

It was so out of the blue — no signs, no warnings. He didn’t even get a chance to see or talk to you one last time. All he found was a handwritten letter and your half of this month’s rent waiting for him back at your shared apartment. The place felt so empty. The closet that used to be cluttered with all your clothes was suddenly filled with space, one pillow instead of two on the bed, your toothbrush no longer by the bathroom sink. When he tried to call your phone number, it automatically went to voicemail. You were gone without a trace.

Seated at the kitchen counter, letter in hand, he almost didn’t want to open it. Opening it would be acknowledging that this was real, that the bubble Taehyun was living in — thinking that everything had been fine — would be shattered. He took his time processing the words you wrote that felt so definite and of defeat, the paper also slightly tattered which told him that you had been planning this for a while.

He didn’t realize how much you were hurting. It was honestly a complete slap in the face. You wrote about how much things have changed since the beginning of his and your relationship, specifically how much he’s changed. You said it wasn't his fault; you weren’t mad. It was just that the future he had in mind clashed with yours and it was only a matter of time before separating paths. 

When you and Taehyun first met, neither of you were considerably good people. You became friends through hanging out with the wrong crowd and would often spend time together to escape the realities you both were avoiding. Though as much as you embraced the worst in each other, it wasn’t long until that surface level fun turned into something deeper, confiding in each other’s every secret and learning a newfound sensation of happiness through falling in love.

You promised him that you’d work on improving yourself, and he promised you the same.

Looking back, Taehyun wished he appreciated you more. You were the reason he stopped crashing at his friends’ places and settled down on a decent apartment, you were the reason he got a stable job, you were the reason he wasn’t afraid to love again. He used to thank you every chance he could but now he’s so busy drowning himself in work that he oftentimes falls asleep at the office and barely ever returns home, home to you. He was like a ghost.

To Taehyun, that was normal. He was admittedly obsessed with money more than anything as he refused to be the loser that hit rock bottom like before. Devoting himself to his job was how he kept himself motivated from falling into old habits. That didn’t mean he never loved or missed you when he was away, he just happened to prefer the subtle moments. Eating makeshift dinners because you’re both too exhausted to cook or falling asleep next to you on the couch while you were watching one of your shows — that was enough for him.

He knew to an extent that this bothered you. While he relied on his workplace to be his safe haven from the past, you relied on Taehyun. You hated seeming pushy, but you craved his attention. You used to nag at him constantly for his repeatedly short responses or halfhearted efforts. Taehyun would try to accommodate, but at the end of the day, he brushed off the issue thinking it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to no one while curled in bed, facing the side you once occupied. “I won’t be greedy anymore. I’ll remember every second to love you like you’re the only person on earth. I’ll talk to you about my day when you ask, make something for us to eat even though it might not be edible, whatever you want. I’ll tell you all the things I think but never say. Just please come back.”

Taehyun was tired of being a loser, because in his world, there was no such thing as happy endings for losers like himself. That’s why he tried so hard to no longer be the person he once was.

But despite all that, without his lover, he felt like the same old loser nonetheless.

A tear falls from the corner of his eye, silently. “If only I could turn back the clock… I would’ve never let you go that easily. I would’ve never let you go until you really knew how much I love you. I’m sorry, at least know that I'm sorry.”

main masterlist

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @woooooooosh8 @todorokiskitten @yangcica

TAGLIST: @minilinooo

[make-me-imagine]

Hi!! Congratulations on your follower milestone, you're amazing and you deserve every single one of them! Can I please request ships for M*A*S*H and The Magnificent Seven 2016 (no gender preference)?

I am a female (she/her pronouns), an INFP, a Ravenpuff, and a panromantic asexual woman. I'm incredibly loyal to my friends and family, and I try to be kind to every one I meet, at least unless they prove they don't deserve it. I'm also generally pretty friendly and talkative, but I'm also amazingly socially awkward and there are times when I just prefer to stay in my room and not talk to anybody. My love language is definitely touch, and I will give a hug to basically anyone who asks for one. I'm also autistic with a photographic memory, which most people assume means I'm super smart, but really most of the stuff I remember is just random lines from a book I read three years ago (😂).

I really love reading and writing, and just books in general (my ultimate career goal is to be a librarian), as well as baking, watching movies, and listening to music (mainly country or musical theatre songs). Because of my autism, I can't stand loud noises or mushy textures, and I hate know-it-alls or bigots of any kind. I also hate being touched without warning, as I'm sensitive to touch and it tends to overwhelm me.

I don't really actively seek out too much in a partner. All I really want is someone kind, reasonably intelligent, respectful, and someone who can hold a good conversation. And if they're willing and able to put up with my constant need for affection and rambling about my random special interests? That's just a bonus (😅).

Alright, that's all for that! Hope this was enough for you, and I look forward to my ships!! Congrats again, and I hope you're doing well!! 🖤🖤🖤

For Others: Ships are now CLOSED

Thank you! <3

I hope you like them :)

MASH:

I ship you with BJ!

BJ is super, caring, loving and considerate and I think the two of you would form an amazing bond.

Runner Up: Radar O'Reilly

Headcanons:

You and BJ started out as friends and were always around each other. He understood you like no one else and made you laugh. No one was surprised when the two of you actually started dating, in fact there were bets as to how long it would take.

In this world, I don't imagine you being at the MASH unit, you are back home working as a librarian.

You and BJ send letters back and forth as often as you can. You send him gifts and food, and he sends you trinkets back. His letters are always long, and you keep every one of them safe.

When the war was over, BJ showed up your doorstep with flowers and a new mustache. Whether of not you liked the mustache didn't matter, all you cared about was that he was home safe.

You spent the next three days with each other, holding each other, telling stories, laughing, crying, and reminding each other how much you missed each other, etc.

----------------------

Mag7:

I ship you with Billy!

Billy is a great guy, and super loving in various ways. He can tell how you are feeling at pretty much all times, and seems to always know what you want and how to make you happy.

Runner Up: Red Harvest

'Moment of Realization'

Billy knew he cared for you, he knew he appreciated you, he knew all of this. But he did not realize he loved you, until the moment he thought he lost you.

As the dust settled, and the fires were extinguished. Billy's eyes cast over the torn up town. The remnants of the men they had fought fled, it was over.

But Billy didn't care. He just needed to find you, to see if you were okay. Every face Billy's eyes landed on wasn't yours. The more time passed and he did not see you, the faster his heart beat.

His chest grew tight as anxiety coursed through him. As his eys met Goodies he spoke in a low tone, Goodie could tell he was scared.

"Where is Y/n?"

Goodie frowned as he shook his head and shrugged. He didn't know, no one knew.

Billy paced down the street of the town, his eyes falling on every person and body he saw. Panic began to set it.

"Billy!" A voice called out from nearby.

Billy's neck snapped towards the direction of the noise. Seeing you stepping out of the bank, disheveled, but alive, Billy felt a heavy weight lift off his chest.

He had never felt so relieved than to see you were okay. And he never felt so much love for someone, as when he set his eyes on you again.

As you approached you, you reached out your arms, and he gratefully pulled you into a hug. He gripped you tight and let out a shuttered sigh.

"I thought I lost you." He whispered out.

He had never felt so afraid as when he feared he lost you, before he ever had the chance to love you.

You let out a soft sigh "No, I'm alright. And so are you. It's okay., it's over."

Billy buried his face in your neck as he continued to embrace you. Yes, it was over. But it was also the beginning of something else entirely.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Post-canon, Nie Huaisang drops the 'Headshaker' facade and his disciples stop pretending they think he's incompetent, and a bunch of Sect Leaders who are used to being able to step all over Qinghe Nie are suddenly faced with a cunning, brilliant leader who Takes Absolutely No Shit.

Associates - Part 1 - ao3

Untamed verse

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang said, so shocked that he didn’t even raise his fan in front of his face. “You want me to what now?”

“Help,” Lan Wangji said. He was seated across from Nie Huaisang, as stiff-backed and formal as if they were having a discussion conference banquet rather than a meal in Nie Huaisang’s private quarters in the Unclean Realm.

“Yes, I gathered as much,” Nie Huaisang said. “Two questions: Help with what? And – why me?”

Lan Wangji’s brow wrinkled minutely, which for the Lan sect suggested a state of extreme stress. “Brother has entered seclusion.”

“I know that,” Nie Huaisang said, firmly ignoring the niggling feeling of guilt. If Lan Xichen hadn’t wanted to be completely wrecked as collateral damage in Nie Huaisang’s revenge plan, he shouldn’t have tried to take Jin Guangyao’s side even after he knew what he’d done.

His da-ge deserved better than that. Especially from Lan Xichen.

“I have been appointed Chief Cultivator,” Lan Wangji said.

“I know that, too,” Nie Huaisang said. “I sent you a present in congratulations, didn’t I?”

Lan Wangji gave him a dead-eyed look, which meant he’d received it.

“I thought you and Wei Wuxian would enjoy it,” Nie Huaisang protested, hiding his twitching lips behind his fan. His favorite, as always – he might switch them out on a regular basis, but he always came back to this one, the one his brother had given him long, long ago. It served as a reminder that he should trust no one, which was a concept his stupid heart had a tendency to otherwise forget. “I understand that appropriate preparation is a very important part of the proceedings –”

The dead-eyed looked turned into a glare, and Nie Huaisang coughed into his hand and stopped talking about the jade phallus and jar of lubricant that he’d sent to the Cloud Recesses in a discreet package under the guise of a congratulations gift.

He really hoped he was lucky enough that Lan Wangji had opened it in front of other people, but sadly he suspected the other man knew him too well to do that.

“Speaking of which, have you married him yet?” he asked, ignoring his hurt at not having been informed. He hadn’t expected an invitation to the happy event itself, of course; Wei Wuxian had made very clear what he’d thought about what Nie Huaisang had done – don’t associate with evil. There was a reason that Nie Huaisang had carefully returned to referring to Wei Wuxian by name, rather than casually. But not even to receive a letter informing him of it having happened…?

“I have not,” Lan Wangji said. When Nie Huaisang goggled at him, disbelieving, he shifted minutely in his seat and said, “He wanted to travel. I – could not.”

“Well, of course you couldn’t,” Nie Huaisang said blankly. “You’re the Lan sect heir. If your brother goes into seclusion, then responsibility for managing your sect falls to you – and of course you were just named Chief Cultivator – wait, are you doing both jobs by yourself?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

Nie Huaisang had a momentary feeling of sincere pity, and then the true horror sunk in.

“And you’re asking me to help you?!” he yowled. “Hanguang-jun! You can’t be serious! Don’t you know what everyone says about me? Me, the hapless ‘I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know’, the one they all call the Headshaker?”

“I know what they call you,” Lan Wangji said, stoic as ever. “I also know what they said about Wei Ying, and about Lianfeng-zun. There is not much gain in listening to what people say.”

“I don’t think those are comparable situations,” Nie Huaisang complained, but even he had to admit it was a bit of a weak response.

“No?” Lan Wangji said. “Then you are not the man who drove Lianfeng-zun into a corner with no route of escape?”

Well, when he put it that way.

“That doesn’t mean I know anything about running a sect,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “Sure, I’ve managed, but I had –” Er-ge and san-ge do it. “- help.”

“They each had their own sects to run,” Lan Wangji pointed out in return. “You must have done much of it yourself.”

“But –”

“Nie Huaisang,” Lan Wangji said, and Nie Huaisang blinked. Lan Wangji hadn’t called him as informally as that in years, and certainly never since he became Sect Leader. “Please. As a favor to me.”

Nie Huaisang pursed his lips and looked down at his plate, reaching out and playing with his teacup.

It was a low blow, that.

Pity for Lan Wangji that low blows didn’t work on him anymore.

“We used to be friends, once,” Nie Huaisang said, not looking up. “A long time ago – do you remember? I was seven, you were eight, it was right after my father died. I slept in your room.”

He’d had screaming nightmares back then, and they were worse when he was alone. It hadn’t been just about his father, either, but his brother, the memory of fear in his eyes and bruises on his face, the desperate way he’d pleaded for Nie Huaisang to agree to go to Gusu just for a little while, the persistent worry about what was happening back home once he’d agreed, the haunting thoughts of losing him in the same way he’d lost his father…

Lan Wangji hadn’t been much of a talker back then, either, but he’d crawled into the cot they’d set up for Nie Huaisang in his room and had held his hand, right up until he’d passed out like clockwork at nine. His steady breathing had reminded Nie Huaisang of his brother, calming his nerves, and eventually he’d started confiding in him. Telling him all his fears – the secrets he’d guessed about the Nie family cultivation he only half-understood – the qi deviations –

“I remember,” Lan Wangji said.

“Later, when I came back to the Cloud Recesses to learn for the first time, I was so excited to see you again, and so disappointed to find out you were preparing to go into seclusion. When I snuck over to see you, you chased me away – and when you came out, you only spoke to me long enough to scold me about how I wasn’t obeying the rules properly. I thought you were embarrassed to be seen with me.”

Lan Wangji said nothing. He probably had been. With the benefit of hindsight and age, Nie Huaisang could even understand: adolescence was such a prickly age, and little things seemed so important.

“I was angry at you back then,” Nie Huaisang said. “Very angry – but all I did was start treating you coldly, calling you Lan-er-gongzi instead of Lan Zhan, waiting for you to remember that you liked me. And then the next year we had all those adventures together, you and me and Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, and of course we were close again during the war. You remember, I’m sure, how we used to stay together every time you came back to the Cloud Recesses or visited the Unclean Realm, how I couldn’t do anything for the war but worry, couldn’t do anything but keep you company, but you said it helped to lift your spirits before you headed out again. I even sent you letters after what happened with Wei-xiong– with Wei Wuxian. The siege of the Burial Mounds. I knew how close you were, and I wanted to comfort you if I could...but you never responded to any of them.”

He shook his head and rolled the teacup from one hand to another.

“And then you didn’t show up when my brother died. In seclusion again! For years and years! The honorable Hanguang-jun, always thinking about his cultivation; what a good seed you are, a pride and joy to your sect. Just like everyone always said.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Lan Wangji said. His voice was very quiet, a little hoarse. “I was not well.”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “No one ever explained, either then or thereafter. And no one else ever guessed ‘busy mourning the death of the love of your life’ was the reason, either, so I don’t know why you would expect me to.”

“You never spoke to me again,” Lan Wangji said, his jaw and throat working. He’d tried, a few times, but Nie Huaisang had looked through him as if he wasn’t there, twittering like a foolish little bird with only the most formal of addresses on his lips. “Only in passing, when you came to visit my brother.”

“As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, I’m very good at holding a grudge,” Nie Huaisang said, and put his teacup down. He knew perfectly well that he was being unfair, that he was being cruel and selfish and completely disregarding the many ways he had undoubtedly been unfair to Lan Wangji in turn through lack of consideration or otherwise. But he was cruel and selfish, his mission this past decade and more evidence enough of that, and that old pain of abandonment had lingered far past the point of reason. Still lingered, if he was being honest. “I’m sorry that you’re struggling, and for my part in it, but you’re going to have to do better than please.”

Lan Wangji was quiet, bowing his head. After a time, he said, “I was in recovery during that period. I did not learn about what had happened to your brother until – until much later. It was kept from me so as not to disturb me as I was healing...I can show you the remaining marks, if you wish.”

“That’d be something,” Nie Huaisang said, because he was a petty person like that. Because that had hurt back then, thinking that Lan Wangji was ignoring him even at that most desperate moment, hurt more than anything.

Well. Not more than anything.

Not more than losing his brother. Than finding out the truth about Jin Guangyao.

Than realizing he was the only one who could right this wrong, and that he would have to do it alone.

“If things had been different,” Lan Wangji said, and he did not lift his head. “If things had gone – otherwise. Would you have trusted me?”

Now it was Nie Huaisang’s turn to bow his head. If he had had Lan Wangji, had trusted Lan Wangji…yes, things might have gone very differently.

For Lan Xichen, at least.

“Perhaps,” he said, unwilling to commit himself but knowing that his mere lack of response said everything. “But enough about the past. Far more importantly - what about the future?”

Lan Wangji blinked at him.

Nie Huaisang sighed. “You’re right. I did learn to run a sect, at least somewhat. I may not be very good at it, but I know all the things a sect leader ought to know – all the secrets, all the gossip, how to commit to nothing while making people think you’ve agreed, who should sit next to who and who shouldn’t, what’s a trap and what isn’t, all the things you’ve never needed to care about it. Your brother made sure I knew it all, and told me many stories about things he was doing to run your sect to use as examples. As you suspected, I can probably help you, even if only in figuring out how to appropriately delegate the work.”

“But?”

“I may not be a very good custodian of it, but my sect is the only thing I have left,” Nie Huaisang said. “And you may have once been my friend, Lan Zhan, but now you’re the Chief Cultivator. Do not associate with evil. Am I to expect a freeze in trade relations? A subtle ostracization of my disciples? Will I be invited to the discussion conferences, or will people turn their faces away from me?” He shrugged. “You don’t get to play hot and cold with me anymore. You want my help, you stand by my side. No more judgment.”

Lan Wangji was frowning. “As Chief Cultivator, I must be impartial.”

“Just like the last three were? Wen Ruohan, Jin Guangshan, Jin Guangyao…oh yes, impartiality is truly intrinsic to the position, with such grand examples in your predecessors,” Nie Huaisang said archly, and this time he did open his fan. Trust no one. “I’m not asking for favoritism. Equality with all the others, and your support if someone tries to criticize me or remove me, especially for anything to do with Jin Guangyao; that’ll be enough. Well?”

Lan Wangji considered it for a long time.

It wasn’t anything personal – Lan Wangji was a contemplative sort of person – so Nie Huaisang didn’t take offense, just waited, occasionally moving to eat a little of the food.

“Very well,” Lan Wangji finally said. “I agree.”  

Nie Huaisang was ready with his next question, and also a bite of some grilled vegetables, which he swallowed down before speaking. “And if Wei Wuxian doesn’t?”

Lan Wangji’s hands tightened around his knees. “I have said I will defend you. I have not named exceptions.”

“Just checking,” Nie Huaisang said, then smiled and put some of the vegetables into Lan Wangji’s bowl. “Eat up, Lan Zhan! We’re going to have our work cut out for us.”

Lan Wangji nodded. He seemed resigned.

“If you want, I’ll even deal with Jiang Cheng for you,” Nie Huaisang said. “But it’ll cost you.”

Lan Wangji tilted his head to the side, as if it could hide how much his eyes had brightened in anticipation of that particular burden being taken off his back.

“Remember when we were kids and I asked you to do my copying for me?”

A slow blink. “You want me to do paperwork?”

“I want you to do so much paperwork,” Nie Huaisang said emphatically. He even waved his hands around in emphasis, he meant it so strongly. “I’ll tell you what needs to be done and who needs to do it, I’ll show you how to keep the smaller sects in line and how to manage conferences, but if I never see another memorial in my life it will be too soon..!”

“I think,” Lan Wangji said dryly, “that we will be able to devise an equitable division of labor.”

“Old friend!” Nie Huaisang trilled happily, holding out his arms.

“Do not hug me.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, don’t be like that –”

“Do not hug me.”

“Don’t be so cold! How are we going to get Wei Wuxian back by your side if we don’t put some effort into making him jealous?”

“…explain.”

“Well, the way I see it –”

[wrenhyperfixates]

Fluff Alphabet

A/N: This is a bit of a collab with my bestest best friend @lokistan! The ever amazing Star helped me come up with a question for each letter and she wrote the entirety of “N” herself! Hope you enjoy :)

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02​ @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​ @mythicalgarlicknot​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @mlqcikemenmc​

A=Adoration: What do they adore about you? • Everything. How understanding you are. Loki’s been through a lot, and you’re always patient with him. Even if he was nervous about the relationship in the beginning, you let him take his time, reassuring him you could go slow. And knowing all that, you always checked if he was alright, making sure you weren’t doing anything that made him uncomfortable or weren’t going to fast. He didn’t think anyone else would be quite as considerate as you.

B=Beauty: What do they find most beautiful about you? • Your smile. When you look at him with your face all lit up, he thinks his heart is going to burst from joy. No one else had ever looked at him quite as softly, as kindly, as genuinely as that. He likes to think about your smile as he drifts off at night. It gives him the best dreams.

C=Cuddles: Do they like cuddling? • Not at first. Loki is very guarded and letting anyone into his space is a big decision. Once he warms up to you, however, all he wants to do is snuggle. His preference between big spoon and small spoon depends on the day. When he’s feeling particularly antsy or small, all he wants is to be held in your arms as if sheltered from the world. But on his better days, when he just wants to protect his little mortal, he likes to wrap his body around yours, keeping the two of you in your own little bubble of happiness.

D=Date: What’s their favorite date you’ve had? • The first one. He was too nervous at first to go out with you in public, resulting in a dinner for two in his quarters at the Tower. It was happiness like he’d never known before, the first of many soft, quiet moments you two would share. Loki remembers being too nervous to take your hand in his and being pleasantly surprised when you were the one to hesitantly intertwine your fingers together. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget a single moment of that night.

E=Embarrassed: What about you makes them flustered? • The little things. Like when you take his hand in public. Or say you love him. Or throw a smile his way during a debriefing. Or laugh at one of his jokes. Everything you do seems so natural, so genuine, that it throws him off guard for a moment. When he realizes that’s because all the small things are reflections of how much you love him, his face goes bright red!

F=Forever: How do they plan the rest of your life together going? • Honestly, Loki doesn’t like to think about it. He just knows he needs to be with you, and that’s enough. Though, he did find a spell to expand a mortal lifespan, and plans on asking you if it’s ok to use it. If you say yes, he imagines whisking you away to a cabin in the woods for a while, spending some of your many years just basking in each other’s presence. If you say no, that’s fine too; he’ll still treasure every moment you have together and knows he’ll see you again some day.

G=Gifts: Do they like giving gifts? Receiving them? • Loves giving them; mixed feelings on receiving. Loki adores you so wholly and completely, he thinks it only natural he gives you a gift here and there. Ok, at least twice a month. If he sees something that reminds him of you—and most things do in some way—why not gift it to you? You always love them and want to give back to him. It always makes Loki confused because he had never seen himself worthy of such tokens of love. With every one you give him, you change his mind a little more.

H=Hello: What’s their favorite way to greet you? • With a kiss. Nothing long or extremely passionate, usually just a peck on the cheek or back of the hand. Sometimes, he’s too nervous to say he loves you out loud, but the little kiss says it all. Besides, the god considers it an honor to be allowed to be the one to give you such affections, and he plans on making the most of the privilege.

I=Impression: What was their first impression of you? • He’s intrigued. Loki never liked to have particularly strong feelings either way toward someone. But, despite being the God of Lies, he doesn’t like to deceive himself. There was some unplaceable thing about you that drew him in. Eventually, he realized it was because you never scorned him or cowered for him. No, you were always attentive and interested in listening to him. For someone like Loki, that was rare, so of course he wanted to stick around you.

J=Journal: Do they keep a journal? • Yes. Not religiously or anything. If he misses a few nights, it’s no big deal. He does like to quickly jot down a few thoughts when he can, though, usually about time he spent with you. Then when he can’t be with you at the moment for whatever reason, he can pull it out and flip through, reliving the memories with a smile on his face.

K=Kisses: What’s their favorite part of you to kiss? • The back of your hand. Asgard was a fairly formal place, and having been raised a prince, it was common for him to bow and place a kiss there. But with you, it was different. More meaningful. It was almost a way of bringing his old culture with him, yet making it his own. He wouldn’t always bow when he did it. In fact, more often than not, it was sans bow. Instead, if you were walking down the street hand in hand, he’d lift yours to his lips and plant a quick, gentle kiss there. Or if you were sitting together on the couch, he would do the same. Really, they were a good, fast little reminder of his affection for you at any time of the day. How adorably flustered it made you was just a bonus.

L=Love: How do they tell you they love you? • Through the things he does. Sometimes it’s hard for Loki to actually say the words because of his fears, so he opts to show you. He’ll ask if it’s ok to take care of you if it’s something bigger, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. So if you have a tough day, he’ll ask if it’d be alright if he draws you a bath or gives you a massage. If it’s a smaller thing, he doesn’t mention it. He’s not looking for praise, he just wants to show he loves you. So, sometimes he’ll make your favorites for dinner or dessert, or suggest watching your favorite movie or comfort TV show. Of course, you always notice and respond with “I love you, too.”

M=Mischief: Do they prank you? Prank with you? • Absolutely. Loki is the God of Mischief, a title he prides himself on much more than God of Lies. He never does anything too serious to you, just small things. Like convincing you of something absurd or making an illusion of a rather large bug, just enough to make you jump. Even better is pulling pranks with you. Like convincing Thor everyone but him can lift Mjolnir now. Or making Tony believe he’s going crazy and that beeping he keeps hearing is in his mind. And the best part of it all is when Loki gets to hear your beautiful laugh.

N=Never: What's something they would never do to you? • Push you. Loki understands that some things take time and patience. He would never pressure you to do something that you're not ready to do or say. Loki knows what the weight of the world feels like and would never put you through that. 

O=Original: How original are they when it comes to wooing you? • It can go either way. After all, not too many people have magic at their disposal, and Loki loves using it to impress you. Then again, he loves to throw in cheesy pickup lines that make you grin like an idiot because he just looks so adorable saying them.

P=Protective: How protective are they of you? • Very, but he tries not to let it show. Loki doesn’t want to stifle you or make you think he believes you’re weak. You’re actually one of the strongest people he knows. Still, he always watches over you and checks in on you, making sure you’re alright and no one is upsetting you. And if someone has, oh boy, they better watch out because he certainly will have some choice words for them. Of course, that would come with a threat to the person not to let you know he’d spoken to them. Unless he’d gotten your permission to intervene.

Q=Quiet: What quiet, peaceful moments do they appreciate the most? • The ones where you don’t need to be doing anything else. So many people always need to be talking, but with the storm of thoughts always swirling in his mind, Loki appreciates the quiet. The fact that you two can just lay together saying nothing means so much to Loki. He likes just enjoying your calming presence, looking into each other’s eyes, almost as if communicating through the silence, the special kind that only those as close as you two could truly understand and appreciate.

R=Romance: How romantic are they? • Extremely. Loki loves to sweep you off your feet. He’s a little shy about it at first, but once he’s comfortable, he’s constantly writing/reading you love poems and songs. Candlelit dinners become commonplace and you find rose petals lining your way the table more often than not. And if you ever watch a rom-com, you can bet Loki will be taking notes.

S=Sharing: Are they good at sharing their emotions with you? • Sometimes. If his fears of you leaving get the better of him or cause the problem, he doesn’t really want to talk about it and risk making you upset. Instead, he just lets you hold him when you can tell something’s wrong. But for most other cases he slowly learns how to trust and open up to you, telling you what’s going on inside his mind.

T=Trust: How much do they trust you? • A lot. There's not a single other person in the universe Loki would ever let hold him the way you do. He doesn’t tell anyone else his feelings, either. He loves you and knows you’re there for him, though, so he trusts you won’t tell anyone else. It helps that you trust him so much too.

U=Upset: How do they comfort you when your upset? • By holding you. Even if you’re not at the point where you need to cry, Loki will encompass your body with his, tucking your head under his chin. He’ll whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you feel better, rubbing his hands up and down your back. When you finally look up at him, he’ll shower your face with kisses and ask if you need to talk. If you say no, he just keeps holding you for as long as you’ll let him. If you say yes, he listens intently, offering words of encouragement or advice when you finish. He always makes sure to tell you how proud of you he is for doing your best.

V=Vulnerable: When was the first time they were vulnerable with you? • The first time his nightmares woke you up. You’d both fallen asleep on the sofa watching a movie. Unfortunately, he was startled from his slumber by the dreams that so often plagued him. You rubbed his back while he caught his breath and calmed down. Once he was doing better, you offered to listen to what was wrong. Unable to keep it in any longer, he broke down in your arms. After sharing with you, he felt better than he had in a long time. He didn’t have another nightmare for two months.

W=When: When did they realize they were in love with you? • The first time he said the words. He hadn’t thought about it, so it wasn’t premeditated. You two were just swaying to some music, and you’d looked up to place a quick kiss to his lips. He just looked at you and said the three-word phrase. You replied immediately, seemingly not thinking about it either. Loki realized his heart had known it before his brain, but it was in that moment he realized how true the words were. He loved you.

X=Xaphoon: What kind of music reminds them of you? • Classical music with big, sweeping movements. So often they start off soft, feather-light. Then they crescendo into something bigger, something brighter, something dramatic. It reminds him of the way he feels for you, how it swelled into that big moment of pure and complete love and adoration. If the piece calmed back down again, that was the best, since he’s feelings had settled into his bones, becoming part of him.

Y=Yearning: Do they yearn for you when you’re apart? • Very much so. If he has to go on a mission for a while or accompany Thor to Asgard, he misses you terribly. He’ll look at photos or make an illusion of you, but it’s not the same as actually having you there. When he gets back home, the first thing he does is run into your arms, telling you how much he missed you. The sudden confession he never exactly plans always made him blush.

Z=Zoo: Would they want any pets? • Only if you did. Loki was kind of neutral toward the whole pet thing. Sure, if someone else had one he’d always go and pet it, but having one of his own wasn’t that big of a deal to him. If you did want one, though, Loki would immediately take you to find just the right companion. And once you brought it back home, he’d love to play with it or look at it or tell it how cute it is. Practically becoming its best friend, he can be easily persuaded to adopt one or two or a dozen more. And, of course, he’s so absolutely adorable with it, you’d risk your heart exploding from a cuteness overload and let him pick the one to adopt that time.

[mqnasluvr]

heya ! i heard you were new around here, could i request headcanons of enemies to lovers with kaeya and childe ? any pronouns are fine ! they’re so annoying i hate how i love them nevertheless,, thank you belladonna and take your time <3

enemies to lovers | kaeya alberich

pairings; kaeya x gn!reader

mentioned; jean

warnings; enemies to lovers but it’s pretty one sided, spoilers for kaeyas backstory, no beta we die like men, a lil bit of kaeya slander im sorry i had to, gn! reader

word count; 2k

a/n; where did kyquu go? :( i hope they at least see this.. i didnt finish childes part but i wanted to push this out as soon as possible. :(

kaeya

to put it simply, your relationship with kaeya was... tiring.

you had been close to kaeya and his younger brother for years, them being your closest and most trusted friends throughout part of your childhood and teenage years. but that all came to a halt when the former admitted to being a spy from khaenri'ah.

in no way or form did he expect for you two to forgive him— but actually seeing your broken and betrayed faces hurt him more than he thought it would, and the image still haunts him to this day.

you had separated yourself from the two brothers. although diluc didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t want to pick between them ( even though you really should’ve ). that decision was too hard for you to make.

for years, you stayed out of touch with kaeya as he continued to climb the ranks within the knights of favonius, and you followed, much to your dismay. you worked hard to become a knight, and you weren’t going to quit just because of some bad blood between you and your superior. ( props to you for maturity )

he wanted nothing more than to reconnect with you, and maybe even diluc— but that was wishful thinking. diluc ragnvindr was a stubborn, hardheaded man, and getting past that exterior would be no simple feat.

so, he opted for ( not so ) subtly courting you— giving you the occasional wave whenever he saw you walking through mondstadt, offering to help you train ( although you declined every time ), and other small things. you question why he chose to do this now of all times, after half a decade of not speaking to each other.

you weren’t sure how to feel, but it made you agitated. not seething with rage, but it did annoy you to see his lazy grin whenever he walked into the angels share and saw you sitting in the corner of the room. it annoyed you whenever he did that stupid two finger salute before walking off, and archons, did it annoy you when he patted your shoulder after sparring as if you were the best of buds.

then why did your thoughts never stray from him?

that question, you couldn’t answer.

and so, you resorted to treating him like he didn’t exist. it was rude, but you couldn’t really think of anything else. avoiding him like the plague was the one thing you were good at.

as if things couldn’t get any worse, one of your worst nightmares came to fruition.

“jean, please. why can’t i do this mission with you? why... him?” you were basically at the acting grand masters feet, head in your hands and pleading up at the woman. she felt bad, but there was nothing she could do.

“i’m really sorry y/n. but i’m too busy with other things, and kaeya happens to be available. you know an ordinary knight wouldnt be able to take this mission,” her guilt worsened when you looked up at her with ( fake ) tears in your eyes. she kneeled to your height.

“i don’t know of your history with kaeya, but please, just put it aside for this one mission. it shouldn’t take you very long.”

jean helped you stand to your feet, the frown etched into her face growing deeper when she saw your shoulders slump. “alright, fine..i’ll try-”

“jean! have you seen y/n— ah, there they are,” kaeya waltzed in without so much as a knocking, making you jump in surprise and shoot a glare at him. he flashed you a lazy grin.

“speak of the devil..” you muttered.

“are you ready to go? we don’t have much time.” the mission you were assigned was to gain intel on what the fatui were planning. to get said intel, you had to sneak into a gathering held by the fatui. the dresscode was rather expensive— more expensive than anything you owned— so to help you out, kaeya took the liberty of purchasing an outfit for you.

kaeya dropped it into your arms. “change into this. don’t want to show up to a party wearing uniform, do you?”

“thanks...” your face felt warm from embarrassment, but you did have to admit, that was considerate of him.

he laughed and waved his hand, shaking his head. “let’s get going, yeah?”

—

you finished getting ready with the help of jean. she sent you one last apologetic gaze before walking you out the door, waving at you both.

kaeya didnt even hide the fact that he was checking you out. his eyes raked over your attire, before sticking his arm out for you to hold. “my, my, you look quite impressive, y/n. is everything suited to your tastes?”

you huffed and walked past him. “the corset is too tight, and the shoes are too small.” you were only half lying— the corset was a bit uncomfortable to move in, but he got your shoe size down to a T. how? you didn’t really want to know.

“if that’s the case, i can loosen it for you-”

“no.”

kaeya laughed it off, and you only grew more irritated. “come now, y/n. don’t be so stiff.”

“i am perfectly content with being stiff, thank you. now hurry up, i want to get this over with,” you muttered the last part.

you didn’t want to admit that you were struggling to take your eyes off of his attire. he was clad in a white suit with blue complimentary colors to match your own outfit.

you rolled your eyes. ‘of course he’d get us matching outfits.’

but, you didnt find yourself minding all too much.

—

the party looked like any other party— fatui agents littered all over the residence, along with guests in fancy clothing.

you tugged on your sleeve, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. but on the outside, yourself and kaeya blended in pretty well.

because kaeya was such a well known figure, he had to change up his looks a bit. no eyepatch, ( i know, so uncharacteristic ) and he used contacts to change his eye color to a darker shade.

he also put that disgusting rat tail away.

so he didn’t look completely different, but he looked different enough.

...the change was nice.

you couldnt help but feel watched though. but that was to be expected. even though you felt somewhat secure in this situation, anxiety rests for no one. it rested in the pit of your stomach dormantly, waiting for a moment to bloom.

looking around the ballroom, kaeya found people dancing in the middle. deciding that it was better to at least enjoy the party before leaving, he stood in front of you and held his hand out, bowing.

“may i have this dance?”

“who do you think i am-”

kaeya flashed you a cautious glance, head nodding towards a fatui agent who was keeping their eye on the two of you. holding back a sigh, you placed your hand in his. he grinned.

“thank you,” he said. you grunted quietly and held back a roll of your eyes as he dragged you to the middle of the dance floor.

“attention whore,” you muttered, feeling warmer as he placed his hand on your lower back and pulled you in closer.

“you wound me, y/n.”

“you deserve it. i wish i could slap you.”

he stayed quiet. maybe too far?

you shook your head. no. there was no way you we’re going to let yourself feel sorry for him when he was literally a spy.

but he feels honest enough.

sure, his intentions at first were.. questionable. but he’s changed for the better. kaeya has been in mondstadt for years now, and khaenri'ah fell ages ago. his love for mond shouldn’t be doubted for a second, even if he hides it quite well.

before you could look up and make sure your words didn’t hurt him too badly, he leaned down near your ear.

“we have to go.”

“what-”

“i’ll explain later, but we have to go,” he grabbed your hand and pulled you through the crowd.

you didn’t notice, but several of the fatui agents were watching you. you didnt change your looks as much as he did, opting to use simple touch-ups to make yourself more presentable. but it wasn’t enough.

“hey!” one of that agents shouted, and kaeya turned his head back to see how close they were. like he suspected, they were following gou. they pushed through the people, even going as far as knocking one man over, just to catch up.

you hurried your steps along with kaeya, almost sprinting to keep up with him. his grip on your hand was firm though. you two dashed up the stairs onto the third floor of the residence, where the bedrooms were. offices, libraries, bedrooms— they were all there. kaeya picked a random one and shoved you both inside.

it was a red themed bedroom, the lights dim with papers scattered along the desk on the other side of the room. “it seems we’ve gotten lucky,” kaeya joked, skimming over the papers. they were letters, between the fatui and some unknown source. kaeya stashed them in his jacket.

you didn’t understand how he could joke at a time like this. you still arent in the clear and you could hear rapid footsteps coming upstairs. “kaeya—!”

“you know how you said you wanted to slap me?” he said while tucking the last bit of papers into his suit. he didnt even give you a chance to answer. “you can, after this.”

you were confused, but when he backed you up against the wall and pressed his lips to yours, that confusion turned into anger, then more confusion, then understanding.

sighing when you finally caught on, he pulled your body closer to his and you wrapped your arms sround his shoulders. he tugged and nipped on your bottom lip, and if you didnt know any better your knees would be knocking. he was almost too good at this.

suddenly, an agent— a female one, this time— barged in. “have you— hey! take that shit elsewhere, lovebirds!”

kaeya hid your face in his chest, grinning lazily at the woman. his lips were swollen and his eyes were lidded. the woman blushed.

clearing her thoat, she held up a picture of you. well, moreso the back of your head. “have you seen this individual?”

he stared at the woman, then glaced down at you. “..sorry. i’ve been busy, i haven’t seen anyone of the sort. wish i could help,” he shrugged, and the ladies blush worsened. “o-of course..” she muttered, before closing the door and locking it.

kaeya snorted at the irony. he looked back at you, who was still touching your lips with your fingers.

“was i that good?” he chuckled, and caught your hand when you moved to slap him. his laughter died down and he looks oddly serious.

“y/n, we need to talk..”

“...no we dont,” you turned your back to him. he put his hand on your shoulder.

“yes,” he sighed. “we do. i know you didnt want to do this with me-”

“kaeya..”

“-and really, i understand. but i’ve changed, and i know you’ve noticed. i dont want you to hate me forever-”

“kaeya-”

“and you can’t-”

“kaeya!” you nearly yelled. he finally stopped talking over you. “i don’t want to talk about this right now. can you just drop it?”

“then when?” he narrowed his eyes. he laughed humorlessly when there was no reply.

kaeya’s eyes softened the longer you stayed silent. he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you in for a hug. “...sorry.”

“could you please shut up,” you mumbled into his chest. he laughed softly.

“i know you’re wary right now. but all i ask for is a second chance,” he pulled away and hend your hands together in his. “...please.”

it was an odd sight, seeing him this vulnerable. then again, there was a good chance he was faking it to get on your good side but.. for some reason you found it hard to believe that. he looked truly sincere.

you groaned.

“you better not make me regret this.”

[btssunnyboy]

Deadly Protection - Choi San - PART 1

The hate he felt for his other clients, was nothing compared to how he felt about you. But maybe him liking you, isn’t the best possible outcome.

Word Count - 3,036

Warning - Progressive yandere, profanity, Chan is fucking mean, one misogynistic comment, and a sexual innuendo.

BTS , NCT , ATEEZ - Request Open

__________________________________________

Working with over pampered celebrities was his expertise. He knew all the in and outs of this industry, but he had too. As much as he hated the people he worked with, he was still getting paid to protect them with his life. In order to do so he needed to know every possible outcome of every possible situation. And that hatred for those other clients built a pit of anger and despair in his stomach as he walked closer to the door. The thought of meeting the shitty person behind almost made him change his mind and walk away. But that key word almost is something big that should be taken into consideration. With a deep breath, San swallowed his pride and proceeded to make his presence known to those in the room.

A few sets of eyes shifted towards his direction and the only thing he could do is bow his head. Within a second those in the room turned back to their original conversation and paid the man in the comer no mind as he stared off aimlessly through the window. It was oddly strange that no one was rushing up to him, or pointing him towards the one person he was sworn to protect. This whole ordeal was causing a pit to rise in his stomach, and his gut feelings were always right.

“She has to be on set in ten minutes! Where is she!” One of the women in the dressing room bellowed out loudly as she checked her watch for the third time. Her eyes acted as if they were gonna pop out of her skull at any given moment. And that made San’s blood run cold. Was this mystery lady about to be another pain in his ass, were you somehow even more of a spoiled, entitled bitch then he had thought? Should San give up this opportunity right here, right now.

Another lady in the room, that he assumed was an assistant, came up behind the previous woman and tried to soothe her. Small back rubs and encouraging words did not seem to do the trick, as he watched her hissy fit continue to unfold in front of him. The assistant took a shaky breath into her lungs before she spoke, “Listen, Y/n has never let you down before! I promise, it’s probably just traffic that’s keeping them.”

Ah, so his client is the famous Y/n, who is known for her more villainous roles on the silver screen. If you’re anything like you’re characters, he’s gonna take that as a big red flag. But before he could form more of an obnoxious opinion on you, the dressing room door was being pushed open. Rather harshly as it made San stumble about, before he could reach for the gun that was hidden within the confines of his jacket just as his fingertips grazed the holster, he was met with pleading eyes. That was just begging for some peace at that moment.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize you were standing there.” The voice was panicked as you rushed to his aid. Your eyes as wide as they’d go as you looked over his arm. Almost as if you were more worried about the built man in the corner then your own safety. As you had walked up to a complete stranger without inspecting more of your surroundings. “Are you okay, do you need anything?”

San’s curiosity spiked just by watching you interact with him, as you’ve known each other since you were kids. Your soft hands rested on his bicep as you tried to inspect for any injuries that you may have caused. And he found it quite cute when reliziation hit you, and you tried to make the distance between two of you greater. You were invading his personal space, and he appreciates you backing off. But before he could even answer your questions, the assistant from before harshly shoved her shoulder into his.

“Y/n, where the hell were you! Sasha has been panicking like crazy!” San felt his eye twitch at the high pitched voice of the assistant. They could have been nicer with this whole ordeal, it’s not that hard to ask a question. But instead this lady wanted to raise her voice and practically spit in your face, and then have the audacity to get mad when you took a few moments to answer. “You’ve got a voice, don’t you?”

“Amber I’m so sorry I was late, but traffic was terrible and random cars kept following me.” You explained as you tried to put down your purse. When you made eye contact with him, for some reason it felt nice and familiar. Even though you know for a fact you have never met this man in your life. “I promise this won’t happen again.”

“It better not, or you can kiss any letter or recommendations goodbye.” Sasha stormed out of the dressing room and dragged Amber along with her. A saddened look on her face as they simply brushed right passed you. “You have less than ten minutes to get ready for the scene.”

You harshly rubbed your hands down your face as you took in a deep breath. All these doubtful thoughts of the movie started racing in, and you wondered if this was all worth. Getting treated like trash just because you were late one time, and then threatening to trash your name up and down the boulevard. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know why Amber decided to take her anger out on you.”

“You say sorry too much, besides that hit felt like nothing.” San slightly smiled as he tried to keep the conversation small. Those two were already pissed and he doesn’t want you getting into any more trouble. He cleared his throat loudly as he started towards the door. “I will just step outside and let you get ready. Just knock on the door three times and we’ll head down to the set.”

Before he could step out the door, you held out your hand. A small gesture, that he was not used to at all. He was used to getting yelled at to guard the doors and make sure no pervert is snooping through the windows. His wrinkled eyebrows gave away his confusion as he eyed your hand just a little bit longer than necessary. The small rings that glittered in the light complimented your hand nicely, everything seemed to compliment you nicely. “Just so we’re starting off on the right foot, I’m Y/n, and I’m going to guess that you’re Choi San my new bodyguard.”

It was oddly strange how the first interaction with you had San’s heart beating a little faster than normal. He was so used to being with distasteful people, that didn’t care about anyone but themselves. But truth be told everything felt different when it came to you. You apologize profusely even when things weren’t your fault, you never raise your voice and you’re always so kind. Even to some of the dumb people that over step their boundaries, but that’s his job to pay attention to those types of people. It’s his job to protect you and yet it seems like you’d lay it all on the line to protect him.

He’d never admit it to anyone, but he does feel a connection. A connection that runs deeper than a simple coworker type of relationship, but at the same time he knows this has to stay strictly in the business type of situation. But at this moment it’s not like he could act on these so-called feelings, as your manager had other plans for your own love life. Which was stupid in his opinion, as you were your own perosn and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

“Don’t they just look fantastic together!” Sasha gushed beside him as she looked at her new couple. You were standing there semi awkwardly as the dude proceeded to put his arm around your waist. But it started to drift lower and lower and San could feel his blood boil within. Before he could even step one foot forward, you calmly removed his arm altogether. Within a second Sasha had to put her two cents in once more. “Y/n, stop! That pose is perfect, it shows how close you two are!”

“No offense, Sasha, but Chan and I barely know each other.” You forced a tight lipped as Chan’s hand tried to rub soothing circles on your hip. This relationship is just PR for the new movie you two are, but it felt so grimy. Lying to your fans just so they’ll buy a ticket and waste their own money on you. Just because they see the two main characters getting close with one another.

“I mean you could always take me up on my offer, and go on a date with me.” Chan smiled flirtatiously at you as he twisted your body to face him. His eyes staring longingly into your while his hands began to move to your lower back. Then he leaned over to whisper in your ear so that no one could hear. “Besides, if you have a good time at dinner, maybe we can have some more fun back at my hotel room.”

You kept your mouth shut because you knew that if you opened your mouth vomit would cover him from head to toe. But it seems like that decision was already made for you, as Sasha’s eyebrows quirked up at the idea. The idea of her two leading costars getting flirty at a candle lit dinner. It would drive the press crazy which in result would drive up so much more buzz about the movie. “That’s perfect, Amber will have everything set up by tonight!”

Dread filled your entire body at the thought of having to spend a night with him. You know it’s for press, and you know it’s for the fans, but still it’s the thought is stomach turning. But beside you, Chan, was having the opposite reaction. One of his eyebrows were cocked in and he wore a sly smirk. You could tell that his stomach was filled with something else than bile, like yours was. His fingertips brushed against your chin, as he pulled your face a little closer. His lips barely brushed against yours, as he softly spoke. “I’ll see you tonight sweetheart.”

You watched him walk away as you tried to keep your composure, but it was hard. Dealing with a guy like him was terrible. They never took social cues, or read the room in any way. The only thing that filled their blown up head of getting laid. Quickly slipping away you tried to make it back to the dressing room without anyone noticing, but you knew that you’d always have a shadow.

“Why can’t they have his girlfriend in the show go on a date with him! I’m his rival, what good is gonna come from this.” You huffed lightly as you turned to face the man that followed you. “I’m sorry you probably don’t wanna hear all my complaining.”

“Talking helps, and it’s obvious you need someone to listen.” San shrugged his shoulders as he took a seat on the plush couch, but he tried to keep a respectable distance between the two of you. “And I’m your bodyguard. I'm here to help with any problems you might have, so lay it on me.”

For once someone actually cared to listen to what you have to say. It felt like a wave of relief washed over you, because you felt safe having this conversation with him. You hoped that after this you two would have more conversations, because seriousness isn’t needed every second of the day. You just hoped he felt that way too.

“Let’s hope this doesn’t take long.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m all ears no matter how long it takes.”

_______________________________________

You lightly patted down the bottom of your dress as you started walking towards the elevator. Chan had asked you to meet him down in the lobby, because he said he has a small surprise. Even though you know you needed to focus on the man you’re about to go on a date with you couldn’t. As cliche as it sounds you couldn’t stop your mind from wandering to San. The poor guy who has his ear talked off for over an hour, just by you complaining about Chan. But he still listened, his eyes were alert with every single word that passed through your lips. You sighed heavily as the elevator dinged showing that you were now on the right floor.

“You look stunning.” Chan said, surprisingly nice. Without the hint of any sexual undertones to it. You smiled slightly as you gripped his outstretched hand. He may be acting nice now, but you know you never should let that guard down tonight. Here’s to two hours of your life that you’re never gonna get back.

“You’re not gonna be quiet the whole dinner are you?” Chan jokes as he tries to nonchalantly sip his drink. His eyes stared back into yours with curiosity swimming in them, but he waited patiently for your answer. “Hmm?”

“I’m just looking through the menu right now,” You tried to keep yourself busy as long as possible. Because no offense to him, but you could feel your brain cells deteriorating the more you spoke to him. All you wanted to do was go back to your room and go to sleep. For once sleep seems a lot more interesting than keeping a conversation going with this man. You bit back the urge to laugh as you heard him huff.

“For fifteen minutes? Damn, I didn’t realize picking a meal could be that hard.” His words made your head pulse with a headache every time he decided to speak. But the stupid look on his face made it clear that he thought his words were just conversational pieces. And it took all the willpower in your body to not chuck the wine in your glass at him. But he didn’t seem to care as he started to scroll aimlessly through his stupid phone.

The moment the waiter came over you quickly rushed your order out of your mouth. The sooner you say it the sooner it might come, and the sooner you can leave this ass in the restaurant. Throughout dinner you could feel eyes staring holes into the back of your head. But every time you tried to catch a glimpse of them, they’d always disappear. Your soul nearly left your body as a rough hand was placed upon your shoulder.

“You need to leave, right now.” San has a calm demeanor, but you could tell something was wrong by the sternness in his voice. Chan eyed him worriedly, as he watched him out his arm around your waist. Before you two even stepped one foot out of the restaurant he placed his jacket over your head. You assumed it was to protect you from the rain. “Keep your head down, and walk as fast as you can. I’ll explain everything when we’re in your hotel room.”

You listened without a second thought as you raced back to your room. Ignoring the pain in your ankles from your high heels digging into them harshly. The only thing on your mind was the way San’s hands rested protectively rested on your waist. Before you stepped into the hotel you noticed all the vans that were starting to surround the restaurant and many different people emerged from them. Paparazzi, along with fans seemed to camp out in front of the restaurant. Now you were glad to be in the safe walls of San’s hotel room.

“Chan sent a tweet exposing your location and people started to figure out the hotel you were staying at as well. So I knew I needed to get you out of there as soon as possible.” Of course that dumb ass tweeted out where you two were. But then again it doesn’t surprise you, he’s always been one who loves any type of attention that he could receive. “Maybe it’s best you stay in my room tonight, just in case any fans put two and two together.”

“I really don’t want to be a bother, and besides you have to deal with me enough.” You tried to waive off his offer, even though you knew this was a good idea. You were safer with him no matter. And the thought of someone getting into your hotel room scared the hell out of you.

“Once again, it’s my job to protect you no matter what. And besides Chan is still at the restaurant they’re gonna follow him, and I’d rather not have the thought of you alone on my mind. So please just stay.” San pleaded as he tried to fix the spare bed. Making sure it was comfortable enough for you to sleep in. He smiled slightly as you gave a quick nod, before announcing that you were going to return to your room for a change of clothes. He knew at that moment you were too nice for your own good, and he’s going to have to step up his game in order to keep you safe.

San didn’t understand what came over him that night. Watching you shake slightly under your cover was tearing him to pieces and he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t understand why he’s even having these feelings all together, considering you were supposed to be a job, not anything else. But he picked Chan’s lock without a second thought and proceeded to show him why exposing your location was a bad idea. Chan’s room was unrecognizable, by the time San was down with it.

Glass shattered in every direction, piles of it littered the floor. Multiple pieces of his clothes were ripped and torn straight from the seams. His bed was turned upside down, with the sheets thrown across the room. Hopefully this gets San’s message across, but he’d be more than happy to take this straight to Chan’s face.

[cazzyvintage]

Long distant relationship love letters, between Laszlo and his travelling performer love, for bat anon 💞

My dear love,

How is the experience of travelling treating you? I fancy it must be considerably stimulating being able to see the world for a job, to visit many exquisite opera houses, see different cultures. I must say I am quite envious love. My own profession, true, has lead me around a few times. For one such example when I went to spend some time studying with Freud in Vienna (until I had to leave due to quarrelling with him) but even then my time was restricted to learning and studying and not enough time to permit me to fully getting to know the area. New York is home to me, but I can acknowledge how dreary it can be here. Just the other day as I was leaving the house to go for a walk to the park, I almost stepped on a rat. I'd hope such vermin wouldn't reside in such an area. Maybe around John, but not at my home yet alas. Speaking of John he has been rather bothersome lately. He needs a good story to receive a bonus in his paycheck and so he has taken it upon himself to badger me for an interview, though he knows how much I abhor them. But moving on, I'd like nothing more than to be able to watch you perform again at the Opera, your voice is beautiful. Do not feel the need to rush to answer this letter, I know how busy you may be, I too am busy at the moment as it's time for me to interview children to be accepted into the institute for this year.

Love, Dr Laszlo Kreizler,

Alienist

x

Dear Laszlo,

How many times do I need to ask you to sign your letters with just 'Laszlo' it is not a professional letter love. When reading it, it almost feels as if I am a colleague rather than your lover if you sign it like that. As for your problem with John, would it be that bad to provide him with an interview? Need I remind you, he is one of the closest friends you have plus he has done a great deal for you. He obviously needs this paycheck so what's one interview? I know you don't like people to pry into your privacy but I am sure John won't ask you any questions you wouldn't want to answer. I hope the interviews have been going well. I regret I am not there to help you with the procedure, I would of liked to make a good impression upon the new children as they arrive at the institute. As you've said, being able to travel has been exquisite, it's been showing me a whole new perspective, a whole new life I had never been able to experience for and I am forever indebted to you for convincing me to leave with the travelling Opera. You've never fully told me what happened with Freud, perhaps that could be a story for the next letter?

From your love, y/n

My dear love,

I'm afraid it's a force of habit at this point to sign my letters as such. I am unable to not sign it off like that without it agitating me. I do however put a kiss upon it. Is that not adequate for you? As for the story about Freud, that one is not one I am particularly proud of and not one I believe should be discussed over a letter, but I am no longer allowed to visit his place in Vienna so that should say all. After reading your letter, I thought about what you had written about John. Perhaps I had been too ungracious upon the man. Reluctantly I agreed to the interview. I'm afraid your prediction on John not asking me questions I wouldn't want to answer was wrong. He played meticulous attention to our own relationship, asking me numerous questions about it. I tried not to divulge in giving away too much information to him, and I tried my best not to lose my temperament with him. Really if he needed that paycheck so bad, I could have just provided him with the money he sought. Nevertheless, is it over with now and I shall avoid the newspaper when it comes out and any prying eyes that might be about. Perhaps Sara would like to join me at the Opera instead of John. That might show him my position upon the interview. If it's not too bold of me to say, I miss you greatly my love.

Love, Dr Laszlo Kreizler

Alienist

x

Dear Laszlo,

You make me incredibly curious about what happened between you and Freud. If you do not inform me yourself what happened, I might just have to find out on my own. I'm sorry if the interview made you uncomfortable, John should have known better. Still, though John frequently informs you how much he dislikes the Opera, I believe he secretly loves the fact that you always invite him along and spend that time with him. I believe he will be quite disheartened if you take Sara instead, especially after everything he and Sara have been through. You don't want to avoid yourself in their situation. You haven't informed me of how everyone else yet? Is Stevie well? Are the children missing me? Have you seen the twins recently? I do miss them all greatly, but not as much as I miss you, my love.

From your one, true love, y/n

My dear love,

'your one, true love' is not how you usually sign off your letters, is something the matter? You'll always be my one and only y/n. I could never love a person the way my heart loves you. The children miss you greatly, often they ask about you. They hope you come home soon, as much as I too hope for you to return home. Stevie has been good, he has been a great help to me after Cryus left. He has the unfortunate habit however to try and smoke. I have been lecturing him upon the dangers of addictions but he seems to pay me no mind. I believe he is currently going through the recorded phenomenon of where teenagers rebel against authority. I hope that in time he might wise up to the dangers of smoking and listen to my words with greater importance. I have in fact supper with the twins as of yesterday. They are incredibly busy at the moment for they have been working hard on a case, you might have seen it in the news, I have offered them my help if it is needed. As for John, he came over the other day and apologised to me about the interview and the questions he asked. I could tell from his words he was sincere and so waved the apology off and invited him to the Opera instead of Sara. You were true in that I shouldn't involve myself within their situation, though I can't lie and say I am not inquisitive about precisely all that is going on.

Love, Dr Laszlo Kreizler

Alienist

x

P.s, I'll tell you about Freud when you return home. Please don't go inquiring about it

Dear Laszlo,

Can I not change up my sign off every once in a while? I bore of the same thing over and over. This letter had to be short as I am returning home soon. I am glad you were able to patch things up with John. Your friendship with him is special, I'd hate for that to ever be broken. I look forward to seeing the children soon, and please don't be too hard on Stevie.

From your one, true love, y/n

A/N: I loved writing these letters and the Andrea ones! They were so fun to make. In the future, I might do some letter requests

[fanmoose12]

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 4/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Every single night, she was tormented by the same nightmare. Every single night, the same memory replayed behind her closed eyelids. She saw that fateful night, the night when she had decided she couldn’t keep pretending anymore.

It was the night before the great battle, and, as always, Levi fell asleep in her bed, curled around her body, holding on to her almost desperately, as though he was afraid that should he let go even for a second, she’d vanish.

Levi thought that his embrace could keep her with him. Hange wished for it to be the truth.

Getting out of the circle of his arms was a considerable effort, he held her too close, too tight, and Hange… Hange didn’t want to leave that sweet embrace. Levi was wrapped around her like a vice, he was a poison ivy that had its twigs engraved so deep it reached to the very depths of her heart.

Hange had to cut it out, to cut him out. And, by gods, was it an unwanted progress.

But after a few moments of quiet struggling, of silent curses and pants, she slipped out from his embrace and their bed. That small victory was well-earned, but not enjoyed. Hange felt her heart break the moment Levi’s arms were no longer around her. Without him, she felt so cold. With every inch she put between them, the ice that began covering her heart continued growing.

Next, she packed her scarce belongings. She wanted to take more, she couldn’t do it. Everything she’d take back home – her uniform with Wings of Freedom splayed proudly on the back, her heavy notebooks with dozens of notes and sketches done by her beloved assistant, that book Erwin had once given her, the scarf Mike had knitted for her, the flower Levi had gifted her, the very same one she treasured just dearly as the memory of him confessing after the gift had been presented, - all of it was going to be looked at and thoroughly analyzed. By her Marleyan comrades, friends and possible prosecutors.

She could take nothing that could be conceived as dubious, but that jacket, the one that was shared by both of them and still held his scent and warmth— she wasn’t strong enough to leave it behind.

So she put it on, praying for it to give her strength.

A long way home was awaiting her.

And Hange couldn’t leave without giving him, the one man she truly loved, a goodbye kiss.

“I know you won’t,” she whispered against his brow, her fingers caressing his hair with a feather light touch, “but please try to forgive me. It was out of my control, Levi.”

It was his fault too. When Levi came, the ground had been kicked from under her feet. And a simple mission turned into a tragedy.

When she gathered enough strength to leave the room, the hallway was empty. Hange knew it would be, she was familiar with the workings of Survey Corps like the back of her hand. She strolled through the well-known hallways without fear, trailing her hand along the walls.

The Military Headquarters back at Liberio was better built than this building. Even Warriors’ barracks, despite being designed to hold Eldians, were built so much better. Those buildings were sturdier, more technologically equipped, much more comfortable.

But, god damn it, she was going to miss Survey Corps’ headquarters, this shitty building that was situated in the middle of nowhere.

Compared to Marley, everything in Paradise was ancient, outdated, useless. But it didn’t stop her from loving that fucked up little island. It didn’t stop her from loving people that were living there, despite them being branded as monsters by her nation.

She turned the corner, took the stairs, and, at the end of it, just near the exit Hange saw a shadow.

She meant to duck behind the corner, to run and hide, but the form of that shadow was all too familiar, and she was just as familiar to that shadow. Hange had no choice but to stop and surrender to another cruel twist of fate.

“Squad Leader!” Moblit ran up to her, smiling and endearing as always.

Fucking hell, and Hange thought that saying goodbye to Levi would be the hardest task. However, Levi, at least, hadn’t been awake.

“Are you nervous, as well?" he asked, curiously peering into her eyes. Was she nervous? That was an understatement. "Personally, I can’t sleep! I’ve been thinking and thinking, and I even wrote a letter to my Momma, do you remember her?”

Of course, Hange remembered Moblit’s Momma, the soft and caring Mrs. Berner, a far kinder woman than Hange’s Momma was.

“I told her about our mission and how proud I am for participating in it. And… I added a second part, the one that would be sent in case…”

“No.” Hange shook her head resolutely, her hands clenching into fists. No, no, no, she refused to even entertain that foul idea. Impulsively, she took a step forward, circling her arms around her sweet assistant. “No, Moblit,” she repeated, voice muffled by his shirt. If he heard the quiet sniffling, Hange didn’t care. Moblit never minded her eccentricities. “You will survive. You will survive this shit and the next one you will undoubtedly face. You will make your Momma and everyone else around you proud.” You will make me proud. “And you will leave a glorious, happy and long life. You promise me?”

“Squad Leader…”

“Promise me!” she demanded, bordering on desperation.

In that moment, the dream always divided from reality.

In reality, Hange waited until he had given her a promise, and then feigned exhaustion, leaving Moblit to use another exit. But in a dream, Moblit made her stay, coercing her to have a cup of tea with him. And in the candle-light lit mass hall, they met Erwin, then Levi joined their impromptu party, gluing himself to her side and blinking sleepily at everyone who had gathered.

In a dream, Hange never left. She stayed under Moblit’s care, was guided by Erwin’s wisdom, was surrounded by Levi’s love.

And that’s why that dream was a cruel, excruciating nightmare. It showed her things that could never be. It showed her the future she desperately wanted to come true. Escaping from the clutches of that fantasy was hard, painful. And if that was complicated….

Well, waking up in that bed was pure agony.

Every single morning, Hange woke up lost and disoriented, and had to spend a few long moments, making sense of it all.

Her first instinct was to stretch her arms, to yawn and reach out – to warmth and comfort, to loving embrace, husky voice and reluctant kiss. To him. To everything she had lost. To everything she never actually had.

But she was alone in that bed.

There was no Levi, lying next to her, complaining about her morning breath. There was no Squad Leader Hange, no four-eyes , who would smile and start singing in Levi’s ear.

There was only she, a broken, empty shell of a person.

A Marleyan who fell for an Eldian. A war chief that devised weapons for her enemies. A fool with twisted loyalties and convoluted goals.

She betrayed her homeland, she didn’t have a home.

She was abandoned by her fellow countrymen, was rejected by the people closest to her.

But, strangely, as pathetic as she was, as miserable and wretched, she was not alone. Even in her sorry state, despite her vile betrayal, she still had a friend.

He was by all means her enemy, a monster and a devil, and yet he saved her life more times than she could count.

Even now, when her lies had been discovered and her villainy uncovered, he remained by her side, continued to care for her.

If all Eldians were truly as monstrous as she had been told since her birth, then how to make sense if the existence of one extremely brave, inexplicably kind Moblit Berner? Hange, as genius as she was, couldn’t understand him, couldn’t explain why someone as good and bright as him had decided to stick with her.

“Good morning!” he walked into her room with a smile, carrying her breakfast on a plate.

He had been repeating the exact same routine every day for the past month. He had been doing this ever since Erwin had appointed him as her assistant.

In that room, that bed, nostalgia, memories and regrets were impossible to escape.

Hange tried telling Moblit that he didn’t have to this, didn't have to care for her as though she was still his comrade. But Moblit was relentless. And she was too lonely and miserable to cut off the only kind soul that remained loyal to her.

“I managed to get your favorite biscuits this morning,” he continued, moving around the room to put the cutlery down on a table and open the curtains to let the sunshine in. “Almost got in a fight with Sasha because of it.”

Despite herself, Hange snickered. Moblit always had that kind of an effect on her. He possessed the uncanny ability to cheer her up with a simple, but heartfelt and caring gesture.

There was only one other person who was better at it than him. But after everything that happened between them… the hell would freeze sooner than she would hear praise and a comforting word from him.

Waving those sullen thoughts away, Hange stretched her arms and rose from the bed. She followed the sweet aroma of biscuits to the table Moblit had set for her.

“Any updates on Gabi and Falco?”

That was the first question she asked every morning. And every morning, Moblit gave her the same disappointing answer.

“I’m sorry,” he ducked his head solemnly. “We didn’t manage to locate them yet.

Hange expected as much. And yet, the lack of news still troubled her. Where were fierce Gabi and adorable Falco? Were they—

She shook her head, pressing lips together. Of course, they were still alive. They were candidates, the best of all best. Mentally repeating that mantra a couple of times, she forced her mind flow into different direction.

“What’s our plan for today?” she asked through a mouthful of biscuits. “Are we going to work on a new uniform again?”

Working on that project was fun. Having Mobllit as her assistant once again was fun. In the moments, when her brain was too occupied with an idea, she could almost pretend that everything was normal. That she was Squad Leader Hange, working with Executive Officer Moblit on a new project. Sometimes, Hange got so lost in that little game inside her head, she even expected for the door to burst open to let a grumpy Captain inside. But, of course, that couldn't happen.

These distant memories, they were comforting. They reminded her of the rare times in her life when she was truly happy. But the past... was in the past.

“Eh, you see…” Moblit raised a hand to his head, scratching the back of it with an apologizing smile. “Armin asked me to look into something. I was actually wondering if you would like to accompany me. I bet you’re getting sick of spending days in these four walls.”

She was starting to feel like a wilting flower, that was true. It would have been nice to go outside. However…

“Am I even allowed to leave this room?”

Moblit winced. “I’m not really sure about it… But I was assigned to look after you. I think it wouldn’t hurt if you go with me. Besides…” he sat on the chair next to her, looking at her almost pleadingly. Oh, Moblit and his perfect puppy eyes, Hange could never resist them. “I’d like to have your company. And, perhaps, your advice as well…”

“Advice?” Hange frowned. “On what? What is your task about exactly?”

“Don’t know if I can tell you,” nevertheless, Moblit leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. “But they found out that one of the volunteers, Yelena, has been conspiring with Eren. They asked me to interrogate the other volunteer.”

“Oh?” that sounded both ominous and intriguing. Hange curled her lips into a grin and raised an eyebrow. “You want me to use my interrogating skills?”

“No!” paling slightly, Moblit frantically lifted his hands, shaking them from side to side. “No reaping out nails, please! No threats of bloody violence! Just… talk with him.”

She almost forgot how easy it was to tease and embarrass Moblit. Oh, how Hange missed him.

“Alright, I’ll do my best to control the violent urges,” she winked at him, laughing at his scandalous face. “And thank you for inviting me. It’s been ages since I saw the world outside that room.”

“There is another thing I have to ask of you...” Moblit cast his eyes down, playing with the sleeve of his coat. “Technically, I’ll be representing Survey Corps, so…”

Oh. Hange shifted her gaze to the wardrobe, where her old uniform was still hanging. That feeling inside her, she couldn’t quite identify it. Was it shame? Or trepidation?

She showed nothing of it to Moblit. As their eyes met, she faced him with an easy smile.

“Sure, I don’t mind. I do wonder if that thing still fits me.”

“It is. It always will.”

The remark was short, it could be read as meaningless. But Moblit’s voice was deep and gravely, full of conviction. Hange tilted her head, stealing a moment to study him more closely. He looked back at her, his hazel eyes honest and kind.

A lump in her throat was thick enough to make it hard to breathe. It brought tears to her eyes. Hange closed them tightly, to keep the tears from falling down.

“I need a moment,” she murmured, facing away from Moblit, “I’ll be ready in five.”

“I’ll be waiting in the hallway,” he said and let her be.

___

Walking through the streets of Sina was both pleasant and excruciating.

Feeling the sun on her cheeks and the wind in her hair after so many days of being confined to a one single room was enjoyable, enough to put a smile on her lips. And Sina, so very different from Liberio, was a lovely city with interesting architecture and narrow clean streets.

But these places were too familiar, the alleyways etched into her mind too deeply. And the uniform… the long green coat fitted her too well, and, at the same time, suffocated her. The shiny Wings of Freedom were burning her even through the clothes.

This proud emblem, it wasn’t hers. She wasn’t worthy of wearing it.

And the looks people had been given her, the awe and pride— fuck, Hange would rather prefer they cursed and flanged stones at her.

“Their smiles make me uncomfortable,” Moblit confessed. “They used to throw shit at us after every expedition. But now that Eren has killed a bunch of people, they suddenly decide that we’re heroes.”

“You always have been heroes.”

You, not we. There was nothing heroic inside of her.

“Remember that tavern?” Moblit’s cheerful voice and excited expression didn’t chase away the shadows completely. But the shadows took a step back, frightened by his light. “We had a glorious fight with MPs there.”

The fond memory brought laughter to her lips. “You almost got your arm broken in that fight.”

Moblit chuckled along with her. “Thanks to you I didn’t. I thought that punch of yours would get that guy obliterated.”

Hange touched her knuckles tenderly. Moblit was right, that was one hell of a punch. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel how the force of the hit had reverberated through her skin, tendons, muscles and down to the bones. Perhaps, that time, she had overdone it. She always had troubles reining in her anger.

“And remember that guy Captain Levi kicked? I see him around from time to time. Because of his broken jaw, he still has trouble speaking clearly.”

Ah, Hange remembered that guy as well. He was red-headed and had an ugly moustache. He also left a nasty bruise on her cheek. Levi’s kick to his jaw was a payback for that.

“Those were the times, huh?” Moblit nudged her, offering a kind smile.

Hange averted her eyes, feeling her lips quiver. Yeah, those were the times. Distant times, now they seemed more like a dream. A dream Hange wouldn’t want to wake up from.

Sensing her discomfort, Moblit steered them to the side, taking their conversation in another direction as well. “Speaking of Captain Levi, I sent him the new uniform. He wrote back that he liked it.”

The uniform she accidentally created with Levi’s size in mind. It was in no way intentional. She thought of Survey Corps’ soldiers when she was making a design. And in her mind, the perfect example of the scout was Levi. She was surprised she still remembered his size. Although, considering how much time she had dedicated to studying his body…

The new uniform was a sudden project, a product of the abundance of free time on her part. She wasn’t going to show it to anyone. Even Moblit found out about it by pure accident, when he stumbled upon her crude drawings. She was surprised he liked it. She was surprised Levi liked it. Did he really, though?

“He actually wrote so?”

“Well, he wrote that it could be useful, and in his words…”

Oh. As high praise as one could get from Levi.

“You write to him?” truthfully, that was another surprise for Hange. She didn’t remember Moblit and Levi have any sort of relationships, especially this close.

“We talk a lot,” Moblit shrugged, looking anywhere but at Hange. She was starting to wonder why, but his next words quickly unveiled the mystery. “Technically, we’re the only adults in Survey Corps, and after you left, we… found that we have a lot in common.”

Well. At least, her betrayal had one good outcome. It gave birth to a new friendship. And destroyed several old ones. Hange winced at the last thought.

“Oh, look where are we!” Moblit once again pulled her out of the abyss with his clear, loud voice. The wonder, added to it, however, seemed a little bit too faked. As smart and sharp as he was, Moblit could never excel at lying and pretending.

Not like she did.

Forcing these thoughts away, Hange followed the direction Moblit was pointing at. She couldn’t help but smile at what came into her sights.

Sina’s pastries. The best bakery in the city. In Hange’s humble opinion, the best bakery in the whole damn world. The one they had back at home, on the corner of the street in Liberio, right next to her apartment, didn’t even compare.

Just looking at the sign made her mouth fill with saliva.

“Moblit,” she grasped at his sleeve, her hold desperate. Her eyes were still trained on that shiny sign made in cursive. “Moblit, I know I’m asking a lot—”

He grinned. “Want me to get you that cherry pie you loved so much?”

Oh god, yes. Right now, Hange wanted it more than anything else.

“I understand it if you can’t. I mean, I’m a prisoner from a foreign country. Isn’t buying pies considered to be treason in this case?”

Moblit chuckled warmly. He looked at her, and his expression was kind and gentle enough to make the saints weep. He curled his hand around her shoulder, and from the place where he touched her, warmth spread through her body. “I wouldn’t mind committing treason for a friend.”

Fuck. Hange felt it once again. Her heart squeezing painfully, her throat constricting, tears welling in her eyes. She had to shut her lids to keep them from falling down her cheeks.

Her eyes still closed, with her voice cracking, she asked, “Would it be weird if I give you a hug right now?”

“Don’t know. Is it weird that I really want that hug?”

Her sob turning into a giggle, Hange surged forward, falling right in Moblit’s waiting arms. He pressed her close, his palm patting her on the back. Hange buried her face in his chest and relaxed against him, inhaling his faint scent of citrus and cinnamon. Sweet and pleasant, just like Moblit.

What was she doing all that time, without him at her side?

Moblit smiled at her as they separated. Hange meant to smile back, but in that exact moment— her stomach gurgled. Loudly.

She cringed.

“So… about that pie?”

“I’m on it,” Moblit promised and darted to the bakery.

___

Perhaps, it was fate. It was destiny, divine intervention, that led her to this moment. To the wooden bench in the park, to the bird’s singing in her ear, to the sweet, heavenly taste in her mouth.

The pie was perfect, so much better than Hange had remembered. It was soft enough to melt in her mouth, leaving a pleasant aftertaste. It was sweet, but not sugary, the cherry toping adding slight bitterness.

Fantastic, the pie was fantastic. If Hange could, she’d stay in that bakery until the end of her days, devouring those phenomenal pastries until she exploded. Ah, what a happy death that would be…

Moblit observed her with an amused grin. “Did they not feed you at all in your Marley?”

“Not like this.” Hange managed, despite her full mouth.

Food in Marley was more diverse than on Paradise. They had more resources, they had a bigger variety of products and ingredients. But Hange was a soldier. She either ate at barracks or she cooked for herself at home. Food, made by army cooks, was nourishing, but lacking in flavor. And the dinners, prepared by her, almost always consisted of something quick and extremely simple.

The only place where Hange could eat to her heart’s content, where food was made out of the best, freshest ingredients and prepared by the most skillful chefs, was the official events, organized by the brass. And as the leader of the research facility, one of the most recognized war chief and the only child of her father, one of the Marleyan’s biggest heroes, Hange was always a welcome guest on these events.

But they were so boring that not even a promise of good food could make her sit until the end of them.

“Well, wait until you try Niccolo’s food. He is a true master.”

“Already did,” her stomach once again gurgled, this time the embarrassing sound was provoked by the memory of Sasha and Connie treating her to some of the maestro’s masterpieces. Sasha certainly was a lucky girl. “I ate so much, I thought I was gonna puke.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” bashfully, Moblit rubbed his neck. “The first time he made food for us, I was eating like the man starved. I was so ashamed, but then I looked around,” he chuckled lowly, a wistful smile tugging at his lips. “And realized I wasn’t the only one.”

“I see you had a lot of fun,” she said, swallowing the bitter taste in her mouth. She wasn’t one of them, and never was. The suddenly appeared sadness was foolish and unwelcome. She had her own friends back home. Perhaps, they still thought about her. Perhaps, they still cared. “And what about that guy you need to interrogate? Is he also an amazing cook?”

“No, he is a soldier, he taught us so much about your technology! He was the one who was in charge of controlling the airship we used to get to Liberio.”

So their new friend was a pilot? And, apparently, a skillful one at that. Navigating through Liberio during all that chaos was certainly a challenge. Hange wondered if she knew him.

“So what is the name of that ace pilot of yours?”

Moblit lifted his chin, something close to pride appearing in his gaze. "He really is amazing. His name is Onyakopon."

Hange's jaw dropped. Her precious pie almost dropped as well. Hadn't she misheard? Onyakopon? The same Onyakopon who had spent almost a year as her understudy? Who taught Hange how to pilot the plane? That Onyakopon?

Could it really be? Could they really meet here, after so many years, on Paradis of all the places? Or was it some other Onyakopon who also happened to be an ace pilot?

"Hange-san?" a worried crease lay between Moblit's eyebrows. "Are the two of you—"

"Don't know," she shrugged, promptly finishing the last of her pie. "Shall we go and find that out?"

Moblit nodded resolutely. Hange felt something like nostalgia stirring up inside her.

___

For a man who was supposedly under a close watch and a possible suspect, Onyakopon had the nicest of accommodations. Much better than Hange's single room.

The house was small, but cozy, surrounded by pretty garden and vast green fields. If one were to ignore the lonely guard who was munching on an apple in the shadow of the tree, the front yard possessed absolutely no flaws.

Hange immediately shared her observation with Moblit, telling it to him in a faint whisper.

"Let's hope Onyakopon isn't a traitor and we won't end up dragging him from this heavenly place," he answered her.

If their Onyakopon was the same Onyakopon Hange knew, they wouldn't need to take the drastic measures. He was a smart, honest and good man. And, judging by Moblit's set expression, he knew that too.

As they approached the house, a man came in their sights. Dark-skinned, tall and handsome, he was reading a book on the porch, a look of complete concentration on his face.

All doubt left her mind. It was the same Onyakopon. The bright, curious young man who wanted to learn from her and who taught her something in return.

At the sound of their footsteps, Onyankopon looked up. And recognized her too, from just one glance. As their eyes met, his grew in size, almost comically. So he didn't know she was there as well. Strange, Hange would have thought he overheard the commotion she had caused on their trip back to Paradis.

But, perhaps, Onyakopon was too focused on piloting the airship and keeping all of them alive.

"Hange?" his voice was no louder than the wind's song. Hange nodded swiftly, having troubles finding her own voice. She wasn't sure it would obey her. "Oh I'll be damned!" Onyakopon jumped to his feet and all but ran to her. He squeezed her elbows, peering into her face in disbelief. "I'll be damned, Hange! I've heard the talks about some Marleyan soldier, but I could never guess that it was you! No one told me that you were captured."

Well, captured might be a strong word to describe what happened to her. Levi didn't capture her, he simply caught her - unaware and unprepared. Hange saw the face that was haunting her dreams and didn't even think of fighting against him.

She thought that Levi came to kill her then. She was almost ready for him to do it, to finish it once and for all. Being killed by the humanity's strongest - was there a greater honor? Being killed by the man you loved so dearly - was there a bigger joy?

Gently, Hange pried Onyakopon's hands off her. "It's a very long story."

"I have—"

"You don't," Moblit took a step forward, partially hiding Hange behind his back. "We need to talk, Onyakopon. I'm sure you've already guessed why."

"Yeah. Your friend here," Onyankopon threw an accusing glare at his guardian who was enjoying the afternoon shade, not disturbed by their conversation. "Already warned me. Alright," he let out a defeated sigh, "Do you guys want tea or coffee? Maybe, some snacks?"

Moblit gave him a tight-lipped smile. "We've already eaten, thank you."

"I— I'll bring some tea anyway."

He disappeared inside the house without another word. Hange and Moblit watched him go, then, when he vanished from their sight, they shared a look.

"He doesn't seem nervous," Hange remarked.

Moblit seemed to be of the same opinion. "He looks rather disappointed. I really hope he is innocent. But..." he shook his head and mumbled, more to himself than Hange, "I was always bad at figuring out liars."

Ouch. If after everything she had been through, Hange still possessed a heart, Moblit's words would have dealt a fatal blow.

Alas... She felt but a small pang. It didn't make her wheeze with pain, only forced to cast her eyes down.

___

Onyakopon returned after a few minutes, carrying a tray with three cups on it. Jerking his head into its direction, he led them to a table on the backyard.

Once they all took their places, heavy silence hanged over them. Onyakopon was the one to break it.

"So, no offence," he tilted his head to the side, his gaze slowly switching between Hange and Moblit. "If this is the official business, then… why Hange is here?"

"It's a long story," Hange said at the same time as Moblit claimed,

"Hange and I have been working together before."

"Wait..." a frown appeared on Onyakopon's face. It was almost immediately taken over by the look of shock. "Are you telling me that the famed Marleyan spy I've been hearing so much about, the one who spent five years on Paradis and almost became the Commander of Survey Corps, is Hange Zoe, one of the brightest minds of Marley?"

"Something like that, yeah," Hange took a cup of tea in her hands, hiding her embarrassment behind it.

"Wow... that's certainly... a lot to take in. I heard so many things about you."

"Nice ones, I hope?"

The corners of Onyakopon's lips slid down. "Not really."

"Ah... Understandable, I guess."

"But if you're the famous betrayer, why are you here? Are you—"

"We've been working together for a long time," Moblit repeated. "I trust Hange's judgement."

"I have an exceptional talent of picking out bullshit. And," Hange grinned, the curl of her lips just this side of being feral. "I'm a master of reaping fingernails out."

Onyakopon promptly chocked on the tea he was drinking. Sending her the most disappointing of his looks, Moblit jumped out from his seat to help the other man to cough it all out. His panicked face did awake a bit of shame in Hange.

"It was a joke," she hurried to assure.

"A very bad one," Moblit grumbled, softly patting Onyakopon on the back.

"I see nothing has changed about you, Hange," after returning his breathing under control, Onyakopon raised his eyes, giving her a joyful smile.

Hange wasn't sure if his words held any truth, personally, she hadn't felt like her happy, curious and driven self from years ago, but, nevertheless, she answered his smile with the one of her own.

"Now, let's talk about you," Moblit returned to his place, sitting down on the opposite side from Onyakopon. His back was straight, his expression relaxed but solemn. He grew, Hange noted absentmindedly. He was no longer that timid, shy man she had met all these years ago. "Do you know what happened with Yelena?"

"I understand that she is in the same boat as I am right now."

"Not quite," Moblit retorted. "We've recently found out that she has been talking with Eren behind our backs."

Onyakopon put the cup down, his hands a little more unsteady than Hange remembered them to be. "I... didn't know about any of this. Do you know what they were discussing?"

"Commander Pixis and the others are attempting to make sense of it as we speak."

"And in the meantime you decided to interrogate me." Onyakopon's demeanor changed, his eyes flashing. "Have I not done enough, Moblit? For you and for the people of Eldia? Haven't we helped you enough? And yet, you still don't trust me. You come here with—" his gaze shifted to Hange, but whatever Onyakopon wanted to say didn't leave his mouth, Moblit's hardened expression stopping him.

"You know how hard it is to earn trust," Moblit spoke calmly. "Especially now. Personally, I don't think that you're involved in Yelena's dealings. But I have to make sure of it. Wouldn't you do the same, if you were in my position?"

"Besides," Hange chimed in, "Even Eren is imprisoned. Do you really blame them for not trusting foreigners?"

Onyakopon took his time before answering. His jaw clenched, as he fixed his gaze on the wooden surface of the table.

"Maybe, you're right," he said at last. At his admission, Moblit relaxed. But Hange knew that Onyakopon wasn't finished yet. "But I risked my life to help get Eren back. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yelena took part in that mission as well." Moblit reminded.

"I'm not Yelena." Onyankopon harshly retorted.

Moblit scowled. Onyakopon was glaring back at him, hands crossed on his chest. Hange decided it was time to intervene once more.

"Are we thinking of the same Yelena?" she interrupted their staring contest, easing the air around both men. "Tall, blonde and absolutely crazy?"

Not taking his eyes of Onyakopon, Moblit nodded. "She also has a strange obsession with Yeager brothers."

"Ah," yeah, Hange knew her. How could she not? Yelena was... "A lovely girl. Even I get chills from her. I doubt that Pixis would be able to get something out of her."

"That what worries me," Moblit confessed, rubbing his temples. The gesture was familiar to Hange - Moblit always suffered from headaches when under stress. "The Queen is coming back soon. If we don't secure the capital..."

"Historia is coming back?" Hange wasn't aware of it. When she asked Sasha about a little girl that once was called Christa and then grew up to become a Queen, Sasha said that she was also getting ready to become a mother. Was bringing her to the capital a good call then? With everything in such state of disarray?

"It was her decision, not ours," Moblit explained. "When the Queen learned what is going in, she deemed it necessary to intervene."

"Hopefully, the Queen is loved more than Eren Yeager."

Yeah, that would be the best case scenario. For everyone - even Marleyans - involved.

"In these uncertain times..." Moblit hanged his head with a deep, weary sigh. "Hope is all we have. Thank you for your time, Onyakopon. We'll be heading back now."

Having said that, he stood up. Hange meant to follow his suit, but at the last moment, Onyakopon stopped her, catching her sleeve between his fingers.

"About what happened in Liberio," he stiffly began. "Marley destroyed my hometown," Hange solemnly nodded. She was forced to take part in that particular operation. She hated every second of it. "I can't and I won't forgive them for that. But..." his voice softened, his thumb rubbed comforting circles around her pulse point. "Liberio was your home as well. So I know what you're going through."

Taken by surprise, Hange blinked a couple of times, gawking at Onyakopon. She expected anger from him. In the worst case - pity. But he offered her only his understanding. She was grateful for that.

“Goodbye, Onyankopon,” she smiled sweetly.

“Hopefully, that wouldn’t be our last meeting.”

Hange could very well agree on that.

___

When they were back in Sina, the sun was already setting, painting the streets and buildings into shades of orange, red and pink. While walking through the town, Hange was once again reminded of how beautiful it truly was. The abundance of trees and flower bushes, the shiny cobblestone and petite houses added to its charm, making Sina look almost magical.

“Pretty as a picture,” Hange had once called it, during a walk through the town with Levi by her side. Her fascination, that careless mishap almost got her lie uncovered.

“You look like you’re seeing it for the first time, four-eyes,” Levi had thrown that line carelessly, but his had narrowed ever so slightly and his frown had deepened. “Didn’t you say that you have grown up in the city?”

In that moment, Hange had almost started panicking. She could almost see it too – Levi finding out the truth, Levi dragging her to Erwin, Erwin getting everything he could out of her, him, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit, Nifa, Keiji, Abel, Levi and countless of others feeling disappointed and betrayed. The story would have ended with her standing on the gallows.

Perhaps, this end would have been more merciful. But that day, her joyful, only slightly forced laughter and a meaningless ‘Don’t you know me, Levi? I always have my head up in the clouds?’ had saved her from the early demise. And doomed her to many years of torture, heartache and self-hatred.

“Hey,” a gentle hand on her elbow broke her out of the internal misery. Hange looked up, meeting Moblit’s hazel eyes. “It will take some time until we reach the headquarters. Can we talk in the meanwhile?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “What do you wish to talk about?”

“I actually want to ask a question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…” Moblit trailed off for a moment, pressing his lips in a line. Hange smiled faintly, she knew that expression too – he always wore it when he was contemplating his next move. As soon as his mind was set, it vanished, the usual kind face returning. “I would like to know why… you came here in the first place.”

That was it? Hange almost exhaled with relief. She thought he was going to ask something truly awful.

“Didn’t I tell you already? Just like Hoover, Leonhart, Braun and Galliard, I was sent to retrieve the Founding Titan.”

“But you didn’t do it. You had countless opportunities to take Eren from us, and you never acted on any of them. So why did you really come here?”

That was… a question more complicated than Hange was ready for. She didn’t know what to tell Moblit, how much she was willing to share. She had never talked about this, not to a single soul. Her comrades and friends from Marley would never understand her anyway. But Moblit wasn’t Marleyan, he didn’t possess the same mentality. Perhaps, he wouldn’t judge her. Hange was counting on that.

Without another second spent on doubt, she began her tale,

“My father was a hero – a soldier, brilliant tactician, an even better politician. He was resolute, fearsome and absolutely merciless to his enemies. No surprise that many considered him to be an ideal Marleyan citizen. And I was his only child. Naturally, everyone expected me to be as brilliant as him. I began my training at the age of five, and by the age of twelve I was already a perfect soldier. However, that’s not who I wanted to be. I wanted to explore the world, to travel to distant lands, but as the child of my father, I had my whole life controlled by him, and then, when he passed away, by the expectations everyone had for me.”

Taking a pause, Hange chanced a look at Moblit, expecting him to be disgusted or annoyed by her whining. She had everything given to her on a plate, a bright future guarantied, and she still yearned for something more. It was pathetic, wasn’t it? She was pathetic. However, Moblit… didn’t seem to share that opinion. At least, his face didn’t show the signs of it. Instead of the outrage Hange had expected to see, she was met with sympathy.

It made the pain in her chest grew tenfold.

Nevertheless, she forced herself to continue.

“I could never decide for myself, my whole life was controlled by my father’s legacy. I wanted to break free of it, by whatever means necessary. So when I heard about the mission to retrieve the Founding Titan, I latched onto that chance, convincing the brass to send me there with the kids. But I’ve arrived earlier than them, and we got separated. And so… I decided to use that time to do what I always wanted. To study and explore.”

It was the most brilliant of her adventures. She loathed being a soldier and having to kill countless enemies of Marley. But there was no war at Paradis. The only enemies were Titans, and as much as Hange felt for their struggle, she managed to convince herself that she was killing them for their own good. That she was freeing them from their never-ending curse.

“No one knew me here, and I could be whoever I wanted to. And I liked being Squad Leader Hange, because Squad Leader Hange was allowed to be as weird and curious as I wanted. People here accepted me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I found the place where I belonged.”

Of course, that wasn’t true, a mere fantasy, a delusion on her part. She was a Marleyan, a child of the man who condemned thousands of Eldians. She had no place in their world. And yet, Hange was happy. It was the bitter truth she was afraid to admit for so long - she loved the persona of Squad Leader Hange. So much more than the persona of the Professor and war engineer, Hange Zoe.

But nothing could last forever. And when the time has come to return to Marley, Hange was devastated. She lost herself in playing her own game.

“That’s it, I guess,” she said, rolling her shoulders. Looking up, she saw they were almost by the stables where they left their horses in the morning. So deep inside her own head, she failed to notice how much time had passed. “I ran away because I was sick of my life back home. And I spent five years pretending to be someone else.”

“Were you really?” Moblit watched her, his gaze inquisitive. “Were you really pretending to be someone else, Hange-san? Or did you finally allow yourself to release your true self?”

That was… a scary statement. And much more loaded than Hange could deal with in that moment.

“I could be wrong, though,” Moblit shot her an innocent smile. Hange cursed under her breath, a true devil, that’s what he was. Getting her to admit to so much of her insecurities, Moblit surely had a talent for it. And to think he asked her to help him with interrogation. He seemed to be pretty adept at it himself.

“Stay here, I’ll bring our horses,” he started walking in the direction of the stables, but at the last moment turned away, and, meeting Hange���s eyes, added, “I’m glad that you took that mission, Hange-san. And I’m glad that I got to meet the real you. All of us are.”

Hange snorted, watching Moblit go. Perhaps, her father was right about something. Devils, all of them were. How else to explain the ease with which they wormed their way into her heart?

Her shoulders dropped as soon as Moblit had disappeared from her view, and she turned to stare at the setting sun. Certainly, it was one hell of a draining conversation.

But as her thoughts were still scattered in disarray, her heart felt so much lighter. She never shared this part of her with anyone, was afraid to admit it even to herself. But now she was glad she had finally done it. Perhaps, she should have done it a long time ago. Her life could have been easier then, the amount of regrets considerably lesser.

She swept her gaze around the plaza Moblit left her at. With the day coming to an end, not a lot of people were there. As far as Hange could see, the only ones still present were a happy mother with a two children, who were feeding the pigeons on the bench at the far side of the plaza, an elderly couple, and—

And a girl that sat at the edge of the fountain. The short stature, slumped shoulders, that luscious long black hair were familiar to the point of setting Hange's heart ablaze.

She couldn't see the face, was afraid to, but even so, Hange denied what her eyes saw. Surely, it was her imagination, her mind conjuring things that weren't there. This girl, she was—

A shadow, fathom. It couldn't be— it couldn't be her. Even the possibility of it was raising the hairs at the back of Hange's neck.

It wasn't Pieck, just a random girl. Hange was wrong, simply seeing things. Those familiar traits belonged to someone else. Pieck wasn't here, in Paradis, Pieck couldn't be—

"Hange?" she jumped, and whirled around so swiftly her head went dizzy. Before her stood Moblit, his eyebrows knitted together worriedly. "Everything alright?"

She exhaled with relief. "Peachy," she answered with a smile she didn't feel. Her eyes shifted from one side of plaza to the other, searching for the figure she had seen. But like all shadows do, she simply vanished.

"I brought our horses," Moblit gestured for her to follow him. Hange did, not looking back even once.

Even so, she felt someone's gaze burning into her back all the way to the headquarters.

___

"Sorry," Moblit stood at the threshold of her room, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I need to report to Zacklay and Pixis."

His expression was nearly apologetic. Hange patted his shoulder, touched by his not so subtle concern. "Stop worrying so much, Mob. Nothing would happen if you leave me for one evening."

Moblit kept frowning, looking as unconvinced as ever. "I'll tell Sasha and Connie to bring you dinner,” he nodded to himself. “And if you need anything, just tell the guard to call for me."

"Alright, alright. Now go!" Hange gave him a forceful push. "And make me proud!"

She didn't get an answer out of him, but she did see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. That was enough for Hange to chuckle victoriously.

Once Moblit had disappeared around the corner, Hange shoved the door closed and leaned against it. It was an exhausting, eventful day. She wanted nothing more than to rest. She headed towards the bed to fulfill that exact goal.

But no sooner than she had seated down, she heard the knock on the door. Albeit quietly, it was repeated three more times.

Sighing, Hange stood up again and walked back to the door. She swung it open, expecting to see Sasha and Connie. She was hoping to get a warm meal inside while gossiping with the two teenagers. A second later, the door stood open. And Hange's throat was closed up.

On the other side of the threshold— there was no Sasha, no Connie. Only Pieck.

And so the shadow finally took form.

Pieck was dressed similarly to her, in the dark green uniform. Her hair was gathered in a low ponytail, a smile was playing on her lips. The subtle differences in her attire only added to the sense of disbelief.

At the sight of her lovely face, all air left Hange's lungs. She desperately tried to take a breath, opening and closing her mouth rapidly. She wasn’t sure for how long she would have continued gaping like a fish fresh out of the water hadn't Pieck taken the matters in her own hands.

"It's been a while, Hange," as always, she spoke in a quiet, sugary sweet voice. Usually it calmed Hange down. Now it was sending shivers down her spine. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Pieck," Hange meant to sound leveled, controlled. But even a single word came out shaky and unsure. "Pieck," she tried again, this time with more success. "What are you doing here?"

Pushing past Hange, Pieck walked inside the room, heavily sliding down on a chair. "Serving my country. Something you have forgotten about."

Pieck stared straight at her, hands folded in her lap, a picture of friendliness and innocence. But the smile Hange always found so endearing, now seemed almost chilling.

"Tell me, Hange, is this the part of your plan? Have you decided to use your old history with these people to destroy them from the inside? Or," Pieck paused, tilting her head to one side. She didn't look angry, or disappointed. If anything, she seemed simply curious. But the atmosphere in the room was tense, air electrified with trepidation. Hange knew Pieck all too well, she knew how dangerous the shifter girl could be. "Have you already forgotten what they did in Liberio, in our city? How they destroyed it? How killed thousands of men, women and children? These monsters almost killed Reiner, Porco," her voice wavered at the names of her dear comrades. But even then, she didn’t drop the unassuming façade. "And do you know what happened to Udo and Zophia? Have you seen what become of them?"

Stunned, Hange could only stare at Pieck. The words left her, her mind unable to come up with anything she could have used to explain herself.

Indifferent to Hange’s internal struggle, Pieck continued.

"Do you even care, Hange? About Marley, about us?"

"Of course, I do." How Pieck could even doubt that? Udo and Zophia, those bright, adorable children Hange couldn't quite imagine them being gone. "Pieck, you misunderstand, I've been captured, I'm not—"

"Don't make me laugh." Pieck interrupted curtly. "You have your own room, you walk freely through the town, you wear their uniform. Is this how they treat all of their prisoners? Awfully kind of them then, considering the monstrosities these devils committed."

"Pieck, listen—"

Pieck didn't want to.

"You always were a strange one, Hange," gracefully, the girl stood up, taking a step closer. With her hands behind her back, she started pacing, circling around Hange. "I could never understand what was going on inside your head. I still can't. But, naively, I thought that I knew you. That after years of fighting side by side, we grew close enough. And after the disaster at Liberio," she picked up a sheet of paper from Hange's desk, gave it a quick once over before disregarding it in favor of focusing her eyes on Hange once more. "I kept looking for you. I was so afraid to find your body under a fallen building or see you with a hole in the head. But you were nowhere to be found. Everyone was worried sick, the brass was livid - the devils from Paradis killed the Warhammer, took our Beast and now our brightest mind was missing as well. And then I remembered what I have seen during the fight. A short man approaching you, the same one who nearly killed Zeke, that Ackerman. I thought he had captured you, I thought you needed saving. Seems like I was wrong about that, huh?”

Even now, Pieck was keeping her calm. Despite the harsh accusations, her voice remained gentle, almost soothing. The smile was still in place, and her head was tilted up, peering into Hange’s eyes.

Hange did everything she could to escape that unsettling gaze.

“I also came to because I needed you,” Pieck continued. “I thought you would help me with my mission.”

Would she? Should she? Hange didn’t know. She knew what Professor Hange Zoe would have done. She knew what Squad Leader Hange would have done.

But what would she do?

“I guess it doesn’t matter. Whether you help us or not, the outcome will be the same. Paradis will fall, Hange. Consider it my only warning. If you wish to witness its demise alongside these devils, I won't stop you. But," without looking at Hange, Pieck laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "If your decision ever changes, I'll be happy to fight by your side."

After that, Pieck left the room, closing the door softly on her way out. Hange, however, didn’t move, remaining frozen in one place, too stunned to follow after Pieck and demand a more thorough explanation.

However... what was there to explain? Paradis will fall. Plain and simple.

Right now, Hange couldn't quite believe it, although she was supposed to expect it. What could possibly happen to that little island after Eren's desperate rampage? But even before that, Paradis was already doomed. The events that transpired at Shiganshina proved to the outside world just how dangerous the Eldians could be. And Shiganshina was simply a plant that had grown out of the seed of Grisha Yeager's crimes.

There was no hope for Paradis. There never was.

Paradis will fall.

What could she do to save it? Could she do something, anything at all? Could she help them, expose her nation's plans? Could she betray her motherland like that? If she shared the truth with people of Paradis, would they even believe her? Would her people forgive her?

Hange didn't know. Her mind was in frenzy, her thoughts flying from one horrible outcome to the other. It was in that catatonic state that Sasha and Connie found her.

"Hange-san? Is everything alright?"

Hange looked up, meeting their bewildered gazes. In that moment she realized - she didn't want these kids to die. She didn't want for them to suffer any more than they've already done. And the others - Moblit, Levi - Hange couldn't bear the thought of them in harm. But—

She didn't want for her fellow countrymen to die as well.

Fuck. Why was everything so hard these days, why it was so damn complicated? When would her heart stop tearing into two pieces? Why was everything out of her control?

It was always an issue of hers, the lack of control. This time was no different. Caught between crossfires, Hange didn't know which side to choose. Perhaps then... she shouldn't choose at all.

Perhaps, she should take the back seat. Let everything transpire the way it was supposed to be. Let them fight, let someone win.

And so, with a heavy heart and troubled consciousness, Hange came to a decision. She would not alert Paradis about the threat hanging over them. She would not help Marley in their fight.

But there was another side to all of this. Another warning, another trouble that couldn’t be ignored.

There was a danger of Marley invasion, but equally disturbing was the events transpiring inside the Walls. Something was brewing, a storm ready to swipe everyone in its path. And Hange had a nasty feeling that at the center of it, two figures stood – Yeager brothers.

Nothing could be done about Eren, Hange had doubts that even his closest friends had a single clue of what was going inside the boy’s head, what dangerous ideas were forming there. But Zeke, Hange knew how to deal with Zeke. She also knew someone who could deal with him in the most efficient way.

She didn’t know what Zeke was planning. But she was confident that Levi would be able to find out.

She just needed to give him a little push.

“Sasha,” Hange smiled at the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “If you would be so kind, tell Moblit to visit me before he retires for the night.”

Moblit had mentioned that he was corresponding with Levi. The time has come to use this detail to her and the world’s advantage.

The world as they knew was changing, perhaps, it was already at the brink of collapse, horrible destruction. What did Moblit say? In these uncertain times, hope is all we have?

In that case, her only hope was Levi.